School jokes

The teacher asked the class what sound does a cow make? "Mooo," said Sally. "Good job," said the teacher. "What sound does a sheep make?" "Baa," said Jack. "Good, now what sound does a pig make?" Little Johnny raised his hand really high in the sky. The teacher called on him. He said, "The pig says, 'Get on the ground and put your hands on your head, you black motherfucker.'"

A teacher is doing an experiment about taste. She tells each student to line up so she can give them each a lifesaver, so they can tell her what flavor it is. She gives Suzy a pineapple one. Suzy tries it, says the flavor, and then goes and sits back down. That is the same for everyone, then it is Jhonny's turn. The teacher hands him a honey flavor one. Jhonny chews it for a while, then says,

"Teacher, I don't know what it is.". The teacher tries to give him a hint and says, "it's what your parents call each other when you are asleep". Immediately the boy behind Jhonny screams, "Spit it out Jhonny, it's an asshole!!!"

What's black and white?

History.

A boy and his friend were walking down the street.

Boy 1: "Bro, you still got my Nikes?"

Boy 2: "Yeah, sorry. I got them dirty."

Boy 1: "Please clean them, we have school tomorrow."

Boy 2 got back to his house and decided to clean his friend's shoes. After he finished drying them, he got stuck in his painfully small dryer. Then he remembered his brother needed something from the dryer. So he tried to get out, when his brother came in.

He came in twice.

(like if u understand)

What did the white kid pull out of his bookbag?

A 9mm.

Is it okay to call a special ed kid late to class a little tardy?

Why was the blunt pencil bad at making speeches? It never had a point.

A kid milks a cow and goes to school and tells his friends, "I milked a cow, and it took awhile for it to warm up." His brother came over and said, "We don't have cows, we have bulls."

Some girl just walks into my 6th period geography class. The first thing I think is, "Oh shit! It's mini Regina George without titties!"

How do you get to the Hogwarts gym?

Go through the dumbbell door.

So I became a teacher in a school for disabled children.

A kid wanted to ask me a question, so I told him to stand while he address me. 💀

What type of camp does a kid with ADHD go to?

Concentration camp.

You can understand depression if you are still in school and get bullied by bullies, punished by teachers, and scolded by parents for being that quiet kid who says nothing.

I only got one question wrong on my biology test yesterday.

The question was, "What is most commonly found in a cell?"

Apparently, "Black People" wasn't the right answer.

"Twins sitting in class."

Me: Casually throws a paper plane at them.

Teacher: "If you don't understand, ask your parents at home."

Orphan: "I don't have neither of those :c"

What’s one good thing about pedophiles?

They drive slow in school zones.

Little girls are like basic math. If they're under 13, you do them in your head.

When the school shooter gets killed and everyone is cheering, but you walk toward his gun; "I will finish what you started."

One day Timmy walks in on his mum in the bath. Then he asks, “What’s that dark fuzzy thing, mummy?” and mum said, “It’s a bush, every girl has one!” Then the next day he walks in on his dad in the shower. So he asks, “Daddy, what’s that long thing?” The dad then says, “It’s a sexy boy” accidentally. Timmy asks his dad, “What does sexy mean?” And the dad says, “Your mother, of course,” making it seem like a child-friendly compliment. Then the next day at school Timmy wanted to compliment his teacher. He walks up to her and says, “You’re so so sexy!”