School jokes
Student: There are 505 rocks in a car. If 8 fall out, how many are left?
Teacher: There will be 497 rocks left.
Student: Ok!!
Student: How do you put an alligator in a closet?
Teacher: You can't, it won't fit.
Student: No!! Just open the door, put the alligator in, then close the door.
Teacher: Ohhh, now I get it.
If an emo kid and the quiet kid had a fight, the quiet kid would win because the emo kid would hang himself to death.
My friends and I were talking about this really ugly girl at our school. For some reason, she had the same name as me.
What's the difference between a school bus and a cactus?
On a school bus, the pricks are on the inside.
Good that you got detention because you said that to me; you should've gone to jail.
When a school shooter walks to the intercom and plays Pumped Up Kicks.
Okay so not a joke but like- There's a fucking noose in my school gym.
I'm in school shooting. #USA
The FitnessGramTM Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20-meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.
Level 1 Feel it One Two Three Four Five Six Seven; end of level one.
What is the difference between the human and a human and walk home walk and walk walk home and walk walk home from school?
Which school supply is king of the classroom? A ruler.
Mom! Mom! The class called me an orphan.
So, a man walks past a gun store and sees all the guns are half price. Then the man says, "Wow, school supplies are low this week."
Why shouldn't you write with a broken pencil? It's pointless.
What's a bonus of being an orphan?
You can't get homework.
Me: Mom, if Adam and Eve are white, then how were slaves made?
Mom: Well, Eve and the monkey fucked each other.
Me: Oh, okay.
Goes to school.
Teacher: How were humans made?
Me: Eve fucked the monkeys.
Teacher: 😑
What do you call a bus full of stoners?
The Magic School Bus.
Why did the orphan live at school?
Because on the first day his parents didn’t pick him up.
Alright, so I have a few orphan jokes. I'm gonna put them all in one message.
Why can't orphans be gay? They have no one to call "daddy."
Why can't orphans go on a field trip? Parent signature: ______
New teacher: I used to be an orphan as a kid. Students: hahaha Teacher: Is anyone missing? Students: No one, just your parents.
Why did the orphan become a prostitute? They kept calling everyone "daddy."
Why do orphans have the iPhoneX? Because it has no home button.
Why did Sally not come home from school today?
Because she died by a flying brick!