School jokes

A: Why did the orphan not come to school today?

B: Because today we had a parent meetup.

So, me and my girlfriend that I just got 7 weeks ago, we’re in class. We had this sub named Mrs. Bellatrix.

We both raised our hands and she called on both of us.

Me: First of all, are we in kindergarten? We can’t be doing 4x4 kinda stuff.

Leah: And also, are you from Harry Potter?

A school shooter enters a kindergarten classroom. Little Timmy says, “He’s my daddy!”

The teacher, Mr. Mortez, screams. Little Timmy then says, “Mr. Mortez, my daddy says you’re a big fat whale and he wants to roll you all the way to Canada!” *pushes Mr. Mortez* Little Timmy says, “Hail f**king Canada!”

What do you get when you cross a vampire with a teacher?

Lots of blood tests!

I went fishing with my grandpa, and my fishing line caught the attention of a school of fish. I told him to get my gun.

A black man said, "Where are the young ones?"

Q: Why don't orphans turn up to parents evening?

A: Because they don't have any parents.

Study tip: Laminate your notes so they don't get damaged by the tears!

When I get home from school, I always lay on my floor crying and wishing I was dead.

I asked my mom what her biggest regret was for a project at school, and she said, "Oh, go look in the bathroom above the sink..." There was a mirror.

I used to be in a special needs class, and the teacher sent a student (if you want to call them that) out to the hall for being late.

I asked her, "Why did you send James out to the hall?"

She said, "She was a little tardy."

I asked her, "I thought they all were."

Why was the Cheetah not allowed to do tests?

Because it always cheated.

What is the difference between a Taliban outpost and a Pakistani primary school?

I don't know... I just fly the drone.

When a 68 year old teacher says: "I am going to tackle an intruder if I have to!"

Me: "Oh hell nah"

How do you get into Hogwarts? Through the Dumble Door.

What’s an orphan’s favorite school event?

Homecoming.

Want to know why parents don't get school shooting jokes?

Because they are aimed at a younger audience.

Q. What kind of school does an ice cream man go to?

A. Sunday school!

Psst! Don't understand? Well, "Sunday" sounds like "Sundae." Get it now? Nope? Sorry. Plus, it's an ice cream homophone joke.

Why did the rapper go to school?

To get DE-GREEZ.

I pushed my best friend's chair in class. Now I kinda feel bad that he was in a wheelchair.

I made a pencil with two erasers. It was pointless.