School jokes
Say what you want against pedophiles, but they slow down in school zones.
I was at school with friends. One of my friends had hair in her armpits. The rest of my friends and I tried not to laugh or say anything, until one of my friends laughed and told her she had hair in her armpits, so she ran to her locker to get hair remover and went to one of the restroom stalls.
My friends and I were talking about this really ugly girl at our school. For some reason, she had the same name as me.
What do you call a bus full of stoners?
The Magic School Bus.
Why did Sally not come home from school today?
Because she died by a flying brick!
Why can’t orphans go on field trips? Because they need parent permission.
Why do so many kids die in school shootings? Because you're not allowed to run in the corridors.
A teacher wanted to teach her students about self-esteem, so she asked anyone who thought they were stupid to stand up. One kid stood up, and the teacher was surprised. She didn’t think anyone would stand up, so she asked him, “Why did you stand up?” He answered, “I didn’t want to leave you standing up by yourself.”
I was walking down the street one day, and I passed the gun store. I walked in, and everything was half off. I didn’t know back-to-school sales had started already!
If an emo kid and the quiet kid had a fight, the quiet kid would win because the emo kid would hang himself to death.
Me and my friends were telling puns. My teacher said we should be “pun-ished.”
What do you call a wizard who can't secure a girl? Fumbledore.
An ugly, poor teenage girl found a genie lamp in her backyard. The genie said, "I will grant you 3 wishes, but under 1 condition."
"What is it?" she asked.
"After I grant your final wish, you have to have sex with me," the genie replied.
"Okay, for my 1st wish, I wish to be the prettiest girl at my school," the genie snapped his fingers and made her pretty.
"For my 2nd wish, I wish for my family to be rich," the genie snapped his fingers and told her her family is now the richest in town.
"And your final wish?" the genie asked.
"I wish I had a sabertoothed vagina."
What do you call a group of depressed kids?
A suicide squad.
Me: "I came home laughing."
Parents: "What's wrong?"
Me: "The teacher asked everyone a question. Luckily, I was the only one who knew."
Parents: "Good for you, Johnny. What was the fantastic question your teacher gave everyone and only you knew?"
Me: "Well, it's kinda complicated, but here it goes."
Parents: "What is it?"
Me: "Who farted?"
Why are my students so naughty?
What’s the difference between 69 and High School?
In 69 you usually only kiss one c*nt and look at one a**hole.
What's the difference between a school bus and a cactus?
On a school bus, the pricks are on the inside.
Good that you got detention because you said that to me; you should've gone to jail.
Why did the teacher yell at the orphan?
Because he didn’t do his homework.