Say jokes
Funny thing is, dead women can't say no...
Finding one of her students making faces at others on the playground, Ms. Smith stopped to gently reprimand the child. Smiling sweetly, the Sunday school teacher said, “Johnny, when I was a little girl, I was told if I made ugly faces, it would freeze and I would stay like that.”
Little Johnny looked up and replied, “Well, Ms Smith, you can’t say you weren’t warned!”
People are fighting in a war, and a man gets hit four times in the arm and says, "'Tis but a scratch!"
And the other guy, looking at him in shock, says, "A scratch? Your arm is off your body!"
What did the rapper say to the traffic jam?
"Move over, I'm about to drop some FIRE!"
Me: I want a PS5.
Dad: Alright, I will say no.
Do you know why the cake doesn't ever fight anyone?
He says, "Take a peace of that!" while entering a fight.
I don't see why people say that emo kids don't like to hangout.
I saw them hanging all day.
My friend's daughter is taking a job in California parking cars. She says she wants to be a valet girl. For sure. For sure.
You know, that I see my sister at home from school. She says everyone bullies me. I say, "Because you're a fat a**."
This guy in a trench coat walks up to a kid, opens the trench coat and has glasses inside.
He says to the kid, “Hey kid, want some extra-see?”
A man accidentally elbows a woman's boob as she is standing behind him in a hotel lobby. The man apologizes profusely and says, "If your heart is as soft as your breasts, I know you'll forgive me."
To which the woman replied, "If your dick is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 318."
An Asian walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "Do you, too, sing 'One Long Toy Cow'?"
The bartender says to the Asian, "Sorry, I don't speak Chinese."
America saying they are more stupid. Russia saying they are more stupid = the stupidest war.
"The legend says Tinker Bell was good in jerkin' off Peter with her tiny fingers, but it pains me to think that Captain Hook was a closeted-sadist boyfriend."
What is the most noise that comes out of a ladies mouth? Nothing because they never have anything important to say.
What did one toilet say to the other?
You look pretty flushed.
Why the actual fuck is there drama on this website? Anyone can fake to be someone they're not and no one will know the goddamn difference. I’m just trying to look at/make jokes, and I’m getting shit from people saying, “It’s too offensive” or something like goddam. Just take that shit somewhere else. Smfh.
If we can't say "God" in vain, why does He get to?
What did the adopted poker player say?
"Will you raise me?"
When you step on the scales, it says "to be confined."