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House

    • Little Timmy walked in on his parents having sex. His parents look at him in fear. Little Timmy asks, "Mom, Dad, what are you doing?"

    The mom replies with, "We are playing house. We'll let you play when you're older," the dad says. So the next day Timmy goes over to play with his friend Johnny, who was, ironically, Timmy's neighbor. Johnny asks, "How was your sleep last night?" "I saw my mom and dad playing house last night," Timmy says. "But they told me I could play with them when I'm older."

    After a little bit of playing with Johnny, Timmy went home and saw his Dad playing house with his babysitter. "Dad, what are you doing?" Timmy asks. "I'm playing house with your babysitter," Timmy's Dad said. "But I saw you play house with Mom last night," Timmy told his father. "Well, don't tell your mother," his dad said.

  • 2

    • Man

    • Person 1 says to Person 2: "I know a man with a wooden leg named Smith."

    So Person 2 says to Person 1: "What's the name of his other leg?"

    Prison

    • Why did the Puerto Rican American 🇺🇸 🇵🇷 that was a gay male 🇺🇸 🇵🇷 that was born physically challenged not say anything to a group of gay white men that were not physically challenged after they called him a size queen after the Puerto Rican American 🇺🇸 🇵🇷 that was born physically challenged was done taking turns giving them a blowjob and was done taking turns swallowing their sweet cum? 🇺🇸 🇵🇷

    Because it was the best meal that he ever had since he has been in prison for 30 years. 🇺🇸 🇵🇷

  • 1
    • Say memes

    Comeback

    • Seeing one of her students making faces at others in the playground, Mrs. Matthews stopped to gently reprove the child. Smiling sweetly, the teacher said, "When I was a child, I was told if I made ugly faces I would stay like that."

    The student looked up and replied, "Well, you can’t say you weren’t warned, Mrs. Matthews!"

    Toddler

    • Don't see why people say that babysitting a toddler is hard. You just grease the bathtub, put them inside with some food and drink, and go do your business. I guarantee you that they will still be there when you return.

    If you stay in the house, you might need to use sound cancelling headphones too, though.

  • 2

    • Hairline

    • When I was in middle school, I was on my bus and people were doin' hairline jokes, and I heard this guy say, "Your hairline goes back to... uhhhhhh... 2042?"

    Guy

    • So anyway, this old guy goes to the doctors. The doctor says, "It's bad news, you've got cancer and Alzheimer's." The old guy replies, "At least I've not got cancer!"

  • 0

    • Zoo

    • Let’s try and make this joke the most liked and commented on this website. (Ps, you may need to say it out loud to get it.)

    I went to a zoo and there were no people and there was one dog. It was a shih tzu.

    Autism

    • The best part about having autism is being able to make jokes about genociding autistic people and no one can say a damn thing.

  • 6

    • Bull

    • What did the bull say when got hit in the special area? "Damn my bulls!" Ahahaha