Say jokes
On a bus, a priest sat next to a drunk who was struggling to read a newspaper.
Suddenly, with a slurred voice, the drunk asked the priest:
"Do you know what arthritis is?"
The parish priest soon thought of taking the opportunity to lecture the drunk and replied:
"It's a disease caused by sinful and unruly life: excess, consumption of alcohol, drugs, marijuana, crack, and certainly lost women, prostitutes, promiscuity, sex, binges, and other things I dare not say."
The drunk widened his eyes, shut up, and continued reading the newspaper.
A little later the priest, thinking that he had been too hard on the drunk, tried to soften:
"How long have you had arthritis?"
"I don't have arthritis! It says here in the paper that the Pope has it."
They say I’m sliced like the apples in a kids meal.
What did the dirt say to the embers?
You look smoking hot.
What did an Arab say to feed his kid?
'Here comes the airplane, and here comes the second airplane!'
Why are hindustan bhai so good at Python?
When they are hungry, they use Python and take credit card information ;). You know what they say, you give a man a curry and he eats for a day, you give a man a language and he eats for a lifetime.
Veronica fine af tho
What did the police say to the ice cream freezer?
When a kid says, "I'm a pedophile," it means that he has a crush on one of his classmates.
When an adult says it, he is accused as a rapper.
They call me Mr. Distracted, truly a spastic. Can't talk to my folks cause they say I'm pro- problematic. Really fantastic. Can't focus unless I take meds then it's magic. My brain is like traffic, always fucking active. But never at the right time, pretty fucking tragic it happens.
What did the woman say to Michael Jackson at the beach?
"Excuse me, sir, you're in my son."
Why do orphans say, "Go big or go home?"
So that way they feel important.
What did Connor Lys Clark say to Karl Kassulke? "I love bridges!"
The girl asks her boyfriend, "Are you jealous of my heart?"
He says, "No."
She says, "Because it's pumping in me and you're not."
What did the tree say to the emo kid? Wanna hang?
What did the ferret say after his family was questioned by police?
It's none of your business!
What did Santa say to the rain? Go away!
Political correctness has gone too far! You have to say "cognitive decline" rather than "Alzheimer's ridden shitbag"!
What did one squirrel say to the other? "Do you have any nuts?"
Your forehead is so big, even Galactus says, "Wow, that's big!"
What did the Turkey say to the other Turkey?
"They forgot the stuffing!"
What did the man say about someone who had a seizure?
"Jit was lagging."