Say jokes
What did the cow say to your mom?
Hello.
There is a really, really small guy and his name is Adam, so I say, "Hey, look, it's an atom!"
The patient says, "Doctor, you've got to help me. Nobody ever listens to me. No one ever pays any attention to what I have to say."
The doctor says, "Next, please."
So a girl says to her ex, "I can't get you out of my mind, the boyfriend I knew." The girl replies, "I see you in everything, like when I'm walking down the street, even at work, like trash cans are everywhere."
Why did the Canadian cross the road?
To say sorry to the other side.
What did the blind man say as he passed the fish stand?
"Hello Ladies!"
What does the blind man say when he walks past the fish market?
"Hello, ladies!"
Me: Wanna hear a joke?
Person: Sure.
Me: Never mind, I was gonna say my life, but my life isn't a joke! Jokes have meaning.
Person: Dear God...
To avoid getting drafted, a young man slips into a nunnery to hide from some draft board agents who are after him. Desperate, he approaches a nun and asks her to hide him.
“Get under my robes,” says the nun. “No one will look for you there.” The nun lifts up her robes and the man says, “Hey, that’s a fine pair of legs you have there, sister.”
“Yeah, well if you look a bit higher you’ll see a fine set of balls,” replies the nun. “I didn't want to get drafted either.”
A Scouser at ground zero just after the twin towers fell asks a passer-by, "What time is it, mate?"
An American replies, "That's a mad accent, where are you from?"
The Scouser says, "Liverpool."
The American says, "Oh, what state is that in?"
The Scouser looks around and says, "About the same state as this, mate, but what time is it?"
They say that breakfast is the most important meal of the day, well not if it's poisoned.
Then the antidote becomes the most important.
What did the dalmatian dog say after he finished his meal?
"That hit the spot?"
The doe comes out of the woods, shakes herself, and says,
"I can't believe I did that for 2 bucks!"
What did the skeleton say while riding his Harley Davidson motorcycle?
I’m bone to be wild!
POV: You walk up to your short friend and say, "How is the weather down there?"
What did the elephant say to the naked man?
"How do you breathe through that tiny thing?"
Q: What did the chemist say when he found two isotopes of Helium?
A: HeHe.
What did the mother cow say to the baby cow?
"It's pasture bed time."
What did the butcher say to the pig?
Nice to meat you.
What did one ankle say to the other? Good morning, how are you today?