Say jokes
Two muffins are in an oven.
One says, "Man, it is hot in here!"
The other one says, "OMG, a talking muffin!"
What's the worst thing to say at a live birth?
"Hi guys, welcome to my unboxing video!"
Kid says, “Are you a soldier?”
Soldier says, “Mhm.”
Kid says, “I wanna be a soldier someday.”
Soldier says, “Really?”
The kid says, “Yeah, but father says I don’t have the balls to be a soldier, but he’s right. I’m a FUCKING PRETTY PRETTY PRINCESS!!!"
What did the gay sperm say to the other gay sperm?
"Why is there so much shit in here?"
Sorry man, but I got to say one thing. You know when a bully in a movie walks to you, then they walk up to you, and they smell you and say, "What are you doing?"
Yo mama so fat, when she jumps, NASA says a meteor hits Earth.
Okay, Gwen, I'll be offline for a while... so if anyone by my name types anything, it's a fake. The only way you know it's me is if I say one of my nicknames. Okay, so yeah, take care of my account while I'm gone. BYE!!!!
Yo mama so fat, flat earthers say she's round.
A pair of Newfoundlanders, watching TV, saw endless big-budget advertisements for mass-produced American beer.
One Newfie turns to the other and says, "They say that stuff is the biggest seller in the States, but I don't see what the big deal is." So they buy a bottle, pour it into a plain jar and decide to get an expert opinion.
They send a sample to a lab in St. John's to have it analyzed.
A day later, the lab results come back: "Your horse has diabetes."
They say people can have a sharp mind. Yours is like a dull knitting needle.
What did the fat say to the other fat? I am fatey.
Americans leave without saying goodbye.
Russians say goodbye without leaving.
Why does Zac say he works at McDonald's? Because Aaron go errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
What did the ball say to the other ball? "You're baller!"
So, when I'm about to take a shower, my mom says, "Take a shower." When I'm about to take out the trash, my mom says, "Take out the trash."
What did the airplane say to the tower? Allahu Akbar!
Therapist: And what is it about this generation that bothers you?
Satan: I give them the intro tour and they just say shit like "ooo spooky lol."
Therapist: That's not so bad.
Satan: When I showed one girl the pit of everlasting flame, she sighed and said "big mood."
What did Al-Shehhi say to Atta?
Well, you know what they say, time flies when you're just a ball of anxiety and stress. :D
You know the saying, "Third time's the charm?"
Well, Germany lost twice.