Say jokes

Went home with a woman last night. I was greeted at the door by a Mongrel.

I say Mongrel, it was her Down syndrome son trying to process if I was a stranger or not.

This isn’t a joke. Quiet kid jokes are so cliché. Like since when was there an original quiet kid joke like smh. Doesn’t help because I’m a quiet kid and people act as if I’m so dangerous and it’s like the only thing they say to me. Being judged as some big bad monster for being AN INTROVERT!! These jokes used to be funny to me, but now I’m just sick of them...

What did Steven Hawking say?

Nothing.

I saw your license. It said you're 15.

I checked your face. It says you're 50.

What's one way to drain someone's ego?

Hand them a mirror, and say they should see how ugly they turned out in life.

What did one ghost say to the other?

"Get a life!"

Why did the cake say to the scammer? "I'll scam you up!"

What did the acute triangle say to the obtuse triangle?

Nothing, triangles can't talk.

A man walks into his bedroom where his wife is carrying a sheep under her arm and says, "This is the pig I've been fucking."

Wife says, "That's not a pig; that's a sheep, dumbass."

Husband says, "I was talking to the sheep."

What did Joe Biden say to the dog? I'm gonna molest you.

What’s something you can say to a waiter, but not your wife?

"Does this come with anything?"

One way to not pick up a girl is to say, “Are you an American school because I wanna shoot kids into you?” I tried it on a girl, and she is now terrified to come near me.

How was I supposed to know she was already pregnant?

Your mom is so old that her birth certificate says "expired."

A girl's pussy is a muff, and when we have something against our mouths, they say our voice is muffled, so do I think the origin of the word "muffled" is talking while eating muff?

What did all the humans say when all the pets left town?

A doggone catastrophe!

What did the blanket say when he fell off the bed?

Oh sheet!

Why did the Carthaginian say Rome lost the war?

Because they were just roman around.

If someone wears black, say, "If you see someone wears black, they always be emo."

What did one emo kid say to the other? "Nice cuts, G!" (because they like to cut themselves).

If an old person tells you what to do just say, "At least my parents are alive!"