Say jokes
I find it difficult to count to ten in French: un, deux, trois, quatre, cinq, six, sept.
I can't say the next one because I have a "huit" allergy.
What did one astronaut say to the other astronaut after landing on the Moon?
"Ah! And people thought we were moons!"
You could say ancient Egyptians and JDM car fans are alike--they both worship Datsun.
Wife: [Looks] in the mirror. Wife: I look fat, can you say something positive? Husband: At least your eyes work.
What did the lady say when she sat on Pinocchio's face:
"Tell a truth, tell a lie, tell a truth, tell a lie, tell a truth!"
This kinda reminds me of when my mum was feeding me. She always used to say, "Open wide for the delicious plane."
A man walks into a bar and says, "Ouch!"
What did one ballsack say to another?
"You stay here, I'll go pee."
What did Stephen Hawking say—I mean, type—when he saw a beautiful woman?
"That's the best shag I never had."
What’s something you can say about a fat person, but not about strippers?
Those legs sure hold a lot of weight.
What did the whale say?
Nothing!
It just wailed.
Orange: Hey Apple, Apple, hey Apple.
Apple: What?
Orange: Orange you glad I didn't say "Apple" again? Hahaha!
You know that you f**k better than dad?
I know, mom says that too. (Typical Alabama Family)
What'd the farmer say when a coyote killed and ate his rooster?
"No, you ate my cock!"
Why shouldn't you say "I hate you" to your parents?
Ask an orphan.
Obama: It smells like UpNigga in here...
Trump: What's UpNigga?
Obama: Omg did you say the n word?? Die!!!
What did MLK Jr. say when he spent the night on the internet?
"Last night I had a meme."
Science experts say when you get mad, punch an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?
"Knock, knock?"
"Who's there?"
"Cow said."
"Cow said who?"
"Cow says moo you ding dong!"
Jeffery Dahmer has two things: an RV and a pit.
What is different about the two is that one can't move and one has gas.
But what is similar is tha-
Wait, what is Jeffery doing? He has a knife, he is pulling men's pants down, he is...OH SHIT WHAT THE F-!
Sorry 'bout that......
Now, as I was saying,
What is similar about the two is that one has and is a cockpit.
Wait, a cockpit- JEFFERY WHAT THE F-!