Say jokes

So a guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender says tell me a joke. So the guy says: so a guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender says tell me a joke. So the guy says: so a guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender says tell me a joke. So the guy says: so a guy walks into a bar and he asks the bartender for a drink. So he gives the guy a drink. So he gives the guy a drink. So he gives the guy a drink.

Don't adopt people, or else your parents are gonna say you're ACTUALLY adopted, k thx. No jokes anymore, bye.

What did the pond brother say to his lake sister?

"Oasis!" (Oh, hey sis!)

A kid asks for an ice cream. The man says, "Any sauce?" and the kid says, "Na, I got ketchup at home."

Why did the man say "hi ti bye?"

A french fry was talking to a potato, but the potato didn't understand what he was saying.

It was because he didn't speak French.

What did the marshmallow say when he was roasting in the fire? "Is it hot in here, or is it just me?"

What did the duck say to the pond?

"Fuck Trump."

I was out ice fishing and had no nibbles all morning.

About noon, this old guy comes out, drills a hole near mine, and starts catching fish as fast as he can bait the hook. I was getting frustrated without any luck, so I went over to ask him his secret. He said "Ymd ggt tm kppp tth yaems womg."

I said, "Excuse me, I didn't get that?" so he mumbles even louder, "Ymd ggt tm kppp tth yaems womg!" I shook my head and said, "I'm sorry, but I still didn't understand what you said."

Frustrated, the man spits out a wad out of his mouth and says, "YOU HAVE TO KEEP THE WORMS WARM!"

I was just informed that my ex was stabbed yesterday. Let's just say I quit my job as a butcher.

I just found out my ex got stabbed today... let's just say I lost my job as a butcher.

There are two muffins baking in the oven. One muffin says to the other, “Phew, is it getting hot in here or is it just me?”

The other muffin says, “AAAAHHH!! A TALKING MUFFIN!”

What does a 911 call receiver say when they get a call?

"9 Juan Juan, who this?"

What did one plane say to the other?

"It’s been a long day, I’m ready to crash."

Other plane: "No you’re not, we haven’t even gotten high yet!"

The doe comes out of the woods, shakes herself, and says,

"I can't believe I did that for 2 bucks!"

What did the cow say to the cheese? I am your father.

What do you call a cow that's laying down? Ground Beef.

What is the difference between your new teacher and a train?

Your teacher says, "Spit out your gum," but a train says, "Choo Choo!"

These two cannibals are sitting by the campfire having dinner. One says, "I can't stand my mother-in-law." The other says, "So, just eat the potatoes."

These cannibal kids come running into the cave and ask their mom what's for dinner? She says, "Dad's gonna grill wieners!"

I'm so lonely, even the alphabet says "Hi."

JK.