Say jokes
What did Allan say to his sister bully when she stepped on his toe? "Mitosis!"
What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? She gagged and moaned.
What did the dog say to his sister when she stepped on his toe? "Hey, mitosis!"
I was sitting with my little brother when he was about four-ish. He was starting to really like to identify objects for some reason, so he was showing me his toys. He grabbed his toy Mator truck and then pointed to the wheels, saying, “These are wheels.” I said, “Good job, yes they are.” Then he pointed to the bumper and said, “This is a bumper.” Again, I congratulated him. Then, he grabbed the toy’s wire with the hook at the end and said, “And this is a hooker.” I died laughing.
Everyone is talking about Head and Shoulders, and that if he never had a shower, his batteries would have got wet.
One man's trash is another man's treasure... Wonderful saying, horrible way to find out you're adopted.
So, a guy walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says, "I’ll give you a drink if you can tell me a meta joke." So the guy says, "Alright, so a guy walks into a bar and asks for a drink." The bartender says, "I’ll give you a drink if you can tell me a meta joke." So the guy says, "So a guy walks into a bar and asks for a drink." The bartender says, "I’ll give you a drink if you can tell me a meta joke." So the guy says, "So a guy walks into a bar and asks for a drink." The bartender says, "Okay, here you go." So he gives the guy a drink, so he gives the guy a drink, so he gives the guy a drink.
What did grandpa say before he died in the hospital bed?
"Boy, could you put my phone on charging?"
A guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can.
Three years later there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says: “What the hell was that all about?”
What do people say to knights when they go to bed? Good knight!
Spell IHOP, now say 'ness' at the end... 😂 ...I ate your penis!
A man is meeting a client in Japan, but arrives a day early. When night hit, he went out with a prostitute. They're having sex, but the prostitute kept shouting "Fuji, Fuji, Fuji!", so the man thinks he's doing a good job. The next day, the man meets his client and they go golfing, and the client gets a hole in one. The man praises him by going "Fuji, Fuji, Fuji!". His client turns around confused and says, "What do you mean wrong hole!?"
What did Yarn Yoshi say to Poochy whilst trying to solve a puzzle?
"Alright Poochy, it's time to get crafty!"
What did the vegetable say to the other before the fight?
Time to beet your maker.
What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?
"Where's my tractor!"
My friend says to me: "What rhymes with orange?" I said: "No it doesn't."
What did the two paintings say after a long battle?
Let's call this one a draw.
What does a skeleton say when he has lots of work?
"I have a ton of work, skele-ton."
Ugh, don't you just hate it when you're having sex and your parents walk in the room and say, "No more dead babies for your mister, we are running low!"
What did the skeleton say to the genderless child? "You're fucking dead, mate."