Say jokes
A 60-year-old man is walking along a deserted road with a 12-year-old boy. It’s getting dark, and the boy says, “Hey mister, it’s getting dark and I’m scared.”
The man replies, “You’re scared? I’ve got to walk back to town alone!”
Two kids are out in the cold, with downpours of snow erupting from the clouds.
One of the kids says something: "Can we build a snowman that is going through puberty?"
The other kid says something else: "Yes. It sounds cool."
After a while, the snowman was finished, and some words jut out of the first kid's mouth: "Wow! Look at that snowman! It's got hair all over, but I think it's missing something though."
The other kid jumps a little and begins speaking: "Oh, I know what it is!"
After a while, a body part made of a carrot and two cucumbers appears on the snowman's crotch. It is a penis and a ballsack.
The first kid speaks: "Icy what you did there."
The other kid replies: "Good thing I didn't slip up there."
The first kid replies: "Well, that's snow problem."
The other kid then uttered this: "These puns would make the most frigid individual crack up."
The first kid then says: "I know, right?"
They then begin a snowball fight.
The other kid then says: "Only the men have snowballs!"
A priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into a bar.
The bartender looks at them and says, "What is this? Some kind of joke?"
What did Gandalf say to Mario? "You shall not pass!"
What did the beaver say to his son?
Dam, son.
You know what they say: "Location, location, location." So my dad stuck a thermometer up his butt, and now he has degrees.
It's a very smart day today. I'd say it has about 30-45 degrees, with humidex.
A man in conversation with his friend says that his wife is on a 3-week diet. The friend curiously asks, how much has she lost? The man replies, "her life."
What did the make-a-wish kid say when the Avengers turn up without Tony Stark?
"We are in the endgame now!"
One time my friend nutted into my bag of trail mix.
I guess you could say I fucking ate a different kind of nut.
What did the Orphan say when he Googled Orphan jokes?
I would say these jokes hit home, but there is no home to hit.
Beans, beans, beans. Say what? Say beans, beans, beans.
Whoever is deleting my messages, comment and say why!
What did chemical 1 say to chemical 2?
"I think you're overreacting."
Knock, knock.
"Who's there?"
Cow says,
"Cow says who?"
No! Cow says moo!
What did the wire say to the electrician?
"Stop twisting my nuts!"
Why did Beethoven get rid of his chickens?
They were always saying "Bach, Bach, Bach". And his cows preferred Moo-zak.
Over summer, I shot up my school and left a note saying, "I could have done this anytime!"
What did the cow say to the prostitute?
Moo.
What did Nicki Minaj say when she sat next to a bomb?
"Bang bang right through the roof. Bang bang all over you."