Say jokes
What did the wire say to the electrician?
"Stop twisting my nuts!"
Why did Beethoven get rid of his chickens?
They were always saying "Bach, Bach, Bach". And his cows preferred Moo-zak.
Over summer, I shot up my school and left a note saying, "I could have done this anytime!"
What did the cow say to the prostitute?
Moo.
What did Nicki Minaj say when she sat next to a bomb?
"Bang bang right through the roof. Bang bang all over you."
What did the first rape victim say to the second rape victim?
"You are a consequence of rape!"
What did the man say when his girlfriend threw sodium and chloride at him?
That’s assault!
Papyrus: Nyhe heh heh! I got a swim suit! And it even says cool dude!
Sans: I guess now it says pool dude ;)
Papyrus: SSSSAAAAANNNNSSSS!
Jack and his kids went to the lake, and his mother wants him to go swimming. You know what he says? "Back where you came from!"
What did Stephen Hawking's wife say to him having sex? "You're wheelie good at this!"
What did the cow say to the farmer? Moo away!
When you're driving past a graveyard say: "Wow, people were just dying to get in there."
A man walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "What, no soap?" Then he dies and she marries the barber.
I was watching a TV show where a guy was hanging off a cliff, then the series ended... I guess you can say that they left that guy on a cliffhanger!
What did the no head man say?
"Haha!"
What did the cake say to the fork?
"Do you want a piece of me!!!"
What did my dad say before he went to go get milk?
"There's money in my wallet for pizza. I love you."
My friend says, "Time flies when having fun," so when he was gaming, I threw his clock to test that theory.
What does Stephen Hawking say after sex? That was wheely good.
Say what you will of pedophiles, but you can't ignore their problem with immature ejaculation.