Say jokes

One day, a priest loses his cock (chicken). He goes to the church and says, "Who has seen a cock?" All the women raised their hands. "No, who has seen a cock that is not theirs?" Half the women's hands went up. "No, no, no, who has seen my cock?" All the nuns' hands went up.

My mother was so sad after my grandpa's death, she went into the bathroom with my uncle, and I could hear their moans of sorrow. She then surprised me later on, saying that she was pregnant.

"Never gonna give, never gonna give (Give you up) We've known each other for so long Your heart's been aching, but You're too shy to say it Inside, we both know what's been going on We know the game and we're gonna play it I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling Gotta make you understand Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you." mucho_mango: just woke up from my dream what was that.

What stands on the side of the road and needs a lot of money to buy?

Billboard, did you think I was gonna say street walker?

What do you call a girl above age 16 who says she is a virgin? A liar.

So the teacher goes up to you and says, "I'm going to call your parents." Me: "Good luck finding them."

I got a GTR yesterday, now my kids say, "GTR we there yet?"

What is the worst motivational thing to say to a suicidal person?

"If at first you don’t succeed, try again and again until you succeed."

A guy walks into a restaurant and orders turtle soup. The waiter hollers, "One turtle soup!"

A moment later, the guy calls the waiter over and says, "I’ve changed my mind, I would like pea soup." The waiter hollers, "Hold the turtle, and make it pea!"

What did the lady say to Michael Jackson on the beach?

"Excuse me sir, but you're in my sun."

So imagine bullying an orphan so bad they cry, and then you say, "What are you gonna do, tell your parents?"

What did the mother say to Michael J. on the beach?

"Excuse me sir, but you're in my son!"

What do you call an emo kid standing outside the mall?

Anything, he'll cry no matter what you say.

So, Little Johnny's teacher is warned at the beginning of the school year not to ever make a bet with Johnny unless she is absolutely sure she will win it. One day in class, Johnny raises his hand and says, "Teacher, I'll bet you $50 I can guess what color your underwear is." She replies, "Okay, meet me after class and we'll settle it." But before class ends, she goes to the restroom and removes her panties. After class is over and the students clear out, Johnny makes his guess. "Blue." "Nope. You got it wrong," she says as she lifts her skirt to reveal she isn't wearing any underwear. "Well, come with me out to my dad's car, he's waiting for me, and I'll get you the money." She follows him out. When they get to the car, she informs his dad that he got the bet wrong and that she showed Johnny that she wasn't wearing any underwear. His dad exclaims: "That mother fucker! He bet me $100 this morning that he'd see your pussy before the end of the day!"

Imagine getting a call and it says, "Welcome to David's orphanage. You make them, we take them. How may we help you?"

How it be when the new guy takes too long...

Hay Danny, it's me Johnny.

Johnny: Boss says to kill the guy in red. Point the gun at his head.

Danny: Ok, target locked. 3... 2... 1... bang.

Johnny: Danny, hope you did not get the man in red.

Danny: OH MY BRO FOR REALL.

Why don't cheetahs say goodbye?

Because they are not going to work.

A woman walks into a bar and says, "Ow!"

What did the orphan say to the other? "Quick, Robin, to the Batmobile!"

What does one gay guy say to his boyfriend before he leaves for a vacation?

"Need help packing your shit?"