roses are red violets are blue when The Oh Hellos saw you they said "Shoo"
I once saw a kid walking down the street crying. So I asked them, "Hey kid, where are you're parents?" And he started to cry even more... "Huh. I wonder why he was so sad..." I said as I walked into the orphanage.
Violets are red, so is your face. I thought I was ugly, but then I saw you.
So I went to Comic-Con and saw a man with an arm missing, and I thought, "Cool display," until I heard him screaming and getting the other arm chopped off. Then I said, "Man, now that's a 10/10 display, wow!"
I went to McDonald's and I saw a line of fat people because they were selling free hamburgers.
So, I saw two homeless people on the road fighting. I said, "Stop fighting and go home." I guess it was a little insensitive.
One day I'm walking and I saw Josh B. He's sucking balls and Marco jump[s], and we got [an] earthquake, and I say, "Yamate."
When I went to the basketball pitch, I saw a man dribbling his own balls.
I robbed a person in a wheelchair. He cried and said: "You can run, but you can't hide." I ran, and I never saw him again.
What’s an emo kid's favorite wood working tool? A chop saw!
Some people say I'm rude, but I think I'm pretty nice because the other day I saw this kid crying on the road and I asked him where his parents were. I just love looking at an orphanage.
I scaled your forehead, and all I saw was 1000.
When I saw a kid fall with no legs, I said, "Just walk it off!"
So I saw a bag full of children near a dumpster. I guess we know where the orphans are when the parents didn’t want them.
Wouldn’t want to hope a Catholic priest comes along, otherwise the priest will have new sex toys.
In the hospital, I saw a girl with cancer trying to sleep. The ICU was going beep beep beep. I think that's why she can't sleep, so I turned it off. She's asleep forever now. Nighty night.
I saw someone who was about to jump off a bridge. They were wearing a Nike "JUST DO IT" shirt.
Why did the cheese blush? Because it saw the salad dressing.
An American mother has 3 children. The first child asked his mum: "Why is my sister called Crazy Horse and my brother Rushing Water?"
Mum: "Because those were the first thing I saw after i gave birth to them. Why are you asking all these questions, two dogs fucking?"
One day my dog died because we couldn't find him. Then we got a cat on the same day. Then my cat went missing, and when I was crying, we heard our Asian neighbor was having a party. Then we went over and I saw my dog and cat on the grill, and they ate them in front of me, saying "yum yum doggy in my tummy and cat in my tummy as well."
My ex-wife was smoking pot with Snow White, when the 7 dwarfs saw them they sang...
"Look at those high Ho's! Hiiiiiiii Hoooooo'sssss!!!!"
