Sarcasm

Sarcasm jokes

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I was taking a walk near the prison when I saw a good looking guy climbing down the fence, and when he noticed me, he gave me a sneer! It was pretty condescending.

The fat kid asked the teacher, "Is Godzilla real?" The teacher said, "They're standing right in front of me."

Man: "I know how to please a woman." Woman: "Then please leave me alone."

Man: "I want to give myself to you." Woman: "Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts."

Man: "Your hair color is fabulous." Woman: "Thank you. It's on aisle three at the corner drug store."

Man: "You look like a dream." Woman: "Go back to sleep."

Man: "I can tell that you want me." Woman: "Yes, I want you to leave."

Man: "Hey, baby, what's your sign?" Woman: "Do not enter. -OR- Stop."

Man: "Your body is like a temple." Woman: "Sorry, there are no services today."

Man: "Is this seat empty?" Woman: "Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down."

Man: "What's it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar?" Woman: "I hate you."

Man: "Haven't I seen you someplace before?" Woman: "Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore."

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    • On Xbox Live, an orphan can say "they f-ed your mom," so you can say, "at least mine didn't die from it."

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    • People wonder why our generation grew up so sarcastic.

    "Hey, how do I look?"

    "With your eyes, Joe."

    A guy was annoyed in a store. I walk up to him and said, "What's wrong, buddy? Don't worry, it's not like you're on an abandoned isle!"

    There was a dude, he was like, "Yo dawg, you wanna die?" I said, "What is this, Friday the 13th?"

    Incest is wincest. (That was above.)

    Fun for the whole family!

    Next of kin, count me in!

    People joke about 9/11, but it's not funny. My dad died in 9/11. Best pilot in Saudi Arabia.

    1: I wish my cancer could kill me quicker so I don't have to do this class anymore.

    2: I'm dying, finally.

    3: I'm sorry, I can't go to your party because I'm expected to be dead by then.

    On a serious note, I might actually have cancer and I'm getting checks. I hope for the best :/

    A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to the man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!" The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."

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    • A boy breaks a vase, and his mom says it's ok, honey, mistakes happen. How do you think you were born?

    You know, I got a SKELETON of these jokes. All are HUMERUS. Yeah, this gets under people’s SKIN, but I guess you could call their FUNNY BONE BROKEN! People try and hit me when this happens, luckily, I got THICK SKIN! Yeah, thanks for listening. Hope you got these puns down TO THE BONE!

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