Kid 1: "Hey, I bet you're still a virgin."
Kid 2: "Yeah, I was a virgin until last night."
Kid 1: "As if."
Kid 2: "Yeah, just ask your sister."
Kid 1: "I don't have a sister."
Kid 2: "You will in about nine months."
The last thing the victims were thinking was is there 9 or 11 stories
Technically speaking, "ur mom/ur father" jokes have no effect on orphans.
It's funny how teachers are supposed to educate new lives, but only teach certain kids how much they want to commit suicide and how many ways there are.
Mum: If your friend jumped off a cliff, would you?
Me: Oh yeah, no doubt my friend wouldn't even have to jump first.
This Native American won't stop talking bad about me, so I said, "Please stop acting like you first discovered this land belonged to your ancestors!"
Your hairline caused the solar flare.
What type of people think rape jokes are funny?
Only the coolest people in the world! I fucking love you guys 😂
I went to my boss's funeral and knelt down to his coffin and whispered, "Whose late now?"
Mom: I'm getting you a dog!
Me: OMG REALLY?!
Mom: Yeah, what gender do you want?
Me:...
Me: Bitch, please.
So, a few hours ago my friend said I need to CUT it out with the s/h jokes... like... it's really not that deep?
They say the first time doesn't work, third time's the charm. Ha, not!
I see a kid crying in the park, right? So I go up to him and say, "Hey, where are your parents?" and he says, "Well, my dad left to get the milk and never came back, and my mother died in a plane crash in the Bermuda Triangle."
A man was on the street and went up to a kid where rags the man asked "hey are you a orphan?" .The kid said "yea what gave me away?" the man said "your parents."
Technoblade: Makes jokes about orphans while in hospital.
Doctors to Technoblade's dad: Sorry for your loss.
Technoblade: What do you mean?? I'm right here!!
Orphans found parents: Who's he talking to??
Kid: Mom, what's dark humor?
Mom: Do you see that man without arms over there? Tell him to clap.
Kid: But, mom, I'm blind!
Mom: Exactly.
James Woods, starring in the newest movie: "September 11, two thousand fun."
The biggest inconvenience in 2001, I thought, was my brother. Turns out it was 9/11. I guess the planes saw him be born and died from how ugly he was. Aluh aluckbar.
They say during sex you burn off as many calories as running 8 miles. Who the fuck runs 8 miles in 30 seconds?
One day, the fat kid came up to me and asked me, "What's cracking?" The floorboards, you idiot. You're causing a 9.7 Richter scale earthquake and asking ME what's cracking. It would be best if you looked down for a second.
