Same jokes

That time when you realize that Osama bin Laden and Carrie Underwood share the same birthday...

Three Europeans come to America. They all get captured by Native Americans, who want to kill them. However, the Europeans beg to have their lives spared. The Native Americans agree not to kill them on one condition: the Europeans must go into the forest and bring back a fruit, and they will be informed what to do with it.

The first guy comes back with a peach. The Native American says, "Shove it up your ass, if you laugh we kill you." So, he shoves the peach up his ass, laughs, and the Native Americans kill him. The second guy comes back with a grape. The Native American tells him the same thing. He laughs, and the Native American kills him.

They both see each other in heaven, and the first guy says to the second guy, "I had a peach and peaches are fuzzy, so that's why I laughed. But you had a grape, what happened?" The second guy says, "Oh yeah, I was doing just fine until I saw the other guy come back with a pineapple!"

Sonic can run around the world in a second.

In that same time, Chuck Norris can run around the Universe.

What's the same about "Make a Wish Program" and "Dark Jokes"?

They never get old.

My sister and I were both adopted from the same country, and my parents say they got us on a "two for one special."

What do you get when you have an annoying kid, a homicidal kid, and a suicidal kid in the same room? A happy ending.

Money and my mom are kinda the same thing; they come and leave easily.

A man is at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can. A few years later there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says: “What the hell was that all about?”

Husband: "I bet you can't say something that will make me both happy and sad at the same time."

Wife: "You have the biggest penis out of all your friends."

Johnny Depp once said in an interview: "I get older, my girlfriends stay the same age."

Maybe Johnny Depp's soulmate isn't born yet. We'll see in 20-25 years.

Men vacuum in the same way that they have sex.

They just put it in and make some noise for 3 minutes before they collapse on the couch and think that their wife should be really happy.

They said I was depressed, I should make an effort to do what I love.

I had to pay a hooker for twelve hours work.

... I felt nothing, but it was nice, being with someone who felt the same.

How can you tell if your wife is dead? -- The sex is the same, but the dishes start piling up.

What's red and in a corner?

A baby with a razor blade.

What's green and in a corner?

The same baby three weeks later.

My grandad was shocked to learn that lightning can strike in the same place twice.

What's the same with a toilet and anal sex? Your ass gets numb after a while.

People always said that if you killed a murderer, there would be the same number of murderers. Why stop at one?

One day I was jogging through the park and I saw this lady sitting next to a pond in a wheelchair with no legs and arms and said "Why are you crying" she said she had never been hugged I gave her a hug and jogged away.The next day i saw her again and asked her the same question she said "I've never been kissed" I gave her a kiss and went, The third day i asked her thrice and she said I've never been fucked I picked her up from her wheelchair and throwed her in the pond and said your fucked now She didn't make it:)

Imagine you're playing GTA and you finally found out how to take out a gun: Option 1: shoot someone Option 2: suicide

Me: Aren't they the same thing?

Carrie Underwood and ChatGPT are not the same. ChatGPT is able to create a soul.