Said Jokes

one day a couple was walking when the man stepped on something hard and squishy then they heard a sound from the bushes, instead of looking down they both ran.

two years later they turned on the TV to find Ted Bundy on trial they asked him if he has ever been caught he said "No but a couple was walking as soon as i killed a girl i jumped into a bush they didnt know i was there but the man stepped on the dead body but didn't look down then he and his girlfriend ran."

Adam and eve are going through the garden when Adam suddenly says, "What race are we?" Eve responds with, "Ask God, he will tell you." so adam goes over to a hill and asks, "God, what race are we?" God says, " You are what you are." Adam goes back to Eve and says, "We are white." Eve asks how he knew that. Adam responds with, "If we were black, he would have said 'you is what you is'."

Christopher and Tony were tempted for a beer but they only had 2 dollars each. Christopher got an idea and run away to the butcher and see if he got something good. He came back with a sausage. So they went to a pub and ordered 2 beers and 2 whiskeys. - Are you crazy?! Said Tony to Christopher. 'We don't have any money!' - Take it easy now, said Christopher. 'I have a plan.' When they finnished drink everything up christopher put the sausage through his own zipper and begged Tony to bend on his knees and take the sausage with his mouth. The bartender saw what they did and throw them out without even paying. So Christopher and Tony kept doing the same thing pub after pub after pub. After the 10th pub said Tony: I can't do this anymore. I am drunk and my knees are in too much pain to even handle the walk. - How do you think i feel? Said Christopher exhausted. ' I dropped the sausage in the 3th pub!'

I told a Seal a joke it went like "Why did the kid cross the playground" he said "why?" I said "To get to the other slide" and then he said "thats the sealiest thing Ive ever heard"

my sister said that i need to stop with the audited butt:

i got it from her when i was born

I asked my dad why a grown man would play Pokémon Go? He said “Wynaut.”

Ariana Grande was in the store and when she pustest her groecy she said "Thank you, next"

fence 1 - was thinking and fence 2 - said are you still on the fence about runing away. Fence 1- said yeah i was thinking of running one the RAILROAD

"I work with animals" the man said to his date. his date said "I love a man who works with animals what job is it for the animal" "I am a butcher" said the man

"If all of these structures break we will all die." And I said, "Hey, that is not supportive!" And he said, "It would be breaking news."

I asked my boyfriend who his favorite motivational speaker was. He said Andrew tate. I told him the BEST motivational speaker was Stephen hawking.

i got a toaster for my birthday and said "yay new bath bomb"

An orphan once said i will call my mum and go home A homeless kid once said he will go home

Chris Rock: Jada I can't wait to see you in G.I Jane 2!

Fresh Prince of Bel-Air theme song starts playing:

Will: I got in one lil fight about my wife's lost hair, she said,'' Will if you don't do something I'm gonna have an affair!'' 😂😂😂

Nasa called me and they said they reached you hailine

"learn to fly a plane," they said. "it'll be fun," they said...

DARK ALERT******** a girl went 2 the doctor the doctor said she had 1yr to live she shot the doctor and the judge gave her 15 yrs. DARK ALERT********

I asked my mom if I can help her out with the cooking, she answered yes. A few hours later dinner was ready and dad came to join. Mother said “honey can you get the mashed potatoes” dad said “why she’s right here”