Said jokes

An orphan asked his caretaker where his parents are, and the caretaker said, "A place called home."

Donald Trump and the Pope were standing on a platform in front of a crowd of people. The Pope said to Donald Trump, “I can make everyone in this audience happy with one small swipe of my hand.”

Donald Trump replies, “That’s not possible. You’ll have to show me.” Then the Pope slaps him.

I saw a news ad on TV about a dad coming home after getting milk. I said, "I've never seen that one before!"

I accidentally said, "Go cry to your mom," to an orphan. 😭

I was bullying a little kid for having a purple eye and said, "Where'd you get that? Your mom? Your dad?"

After that, everyone in my group was laughing at the kid. The next day I never saw him again.

As a murderer, I stabbed a man after infiltrating his house. His wife came in and saw me. She fell into tears. I got up and said, "Drama queen!"

Your so fat, my sister said. I said, "So at least I ain't fatter than your momma."

I saw a dwarf and said, "He costs 2 elixir!"

He called the cops.

My fitness guru said that if I got raped, it would help me in future marathons.

An African man was walking in New York when he saw a sign that said, "Watch out for children."

He started laughing hysterically, then a white man asked him, "Why are you laughing?"

He said, "In Africa, they would never put up a sign like that."

A Souls fan raped me. He said, "Try finger, but hole."

I went fishing while watching porn, and my girlfriend said, "Well, you want my fish?" and I said, "But you're not in the water."

My grandad said I'm too reliant on technology, so I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.

The 10 cents said to the 1 cent, "Haha, I make more cents than you!"

A dad and son walk into a strip club. The people in the strip club said he was too young to be in here, so they had to leave. Ten years later, they went back there. They saw a small dancer. The father walked over there and said the woman looked too small to be in here. Her reply was... "I wasn't dancing ten years ago."

What did the pen say to the pencil?

The pen said, "You're pointy."

Listen, if my mom sees me on Roblox at 3 a.m., she said she would bang my head against the keyboardndfndfnnckvnksdvknkdsfnvbfw.

I asked my friend if they will show me something retarded. He said, "Go look in a mirror." I said, "Thank you."

My friend said this to me: "Were you born on a highway? Because that's where most accidents happen." :(

A homeless kid walked up to another kid and said, "I have what you don't." He said, "(Parents)."

And the kid said, "Your right, I do have parents," and walked away.