How do you find a redneck virgin?
Just look for a 4-year-old. They can run faster than her brothers.
Run Jokes
If a person in a wheelchair runs you over, can you call it a "hit and can't run?"
Me running from the principal because I put ten woman's rights books in the fictional section!
Why is it so easy to roast an orphan?
What are they gonna do, run home and tell their parents?
Why did the knights laugh when they run?
The grass tickled their balls. š šš¤£
So one day a boy was at his dad's work when another little boy ran in crying. Then the dad said, "Aw, little boy, are you lost? Where's your parents?" And the little boy at his dad's work said, "OMG! Dad, you can't say that!"
Why can't he say that?
Answer: He works at an orphanage.
A B C D E F G.
Gummy bears are chasing me, one is red, one is blue. One is chewing up my shoe. Now I'm running for my life because the red one's got a knife!
Why does Ezra Millerās Flash run in a straight line in The Flash movie? Bro aināt straight.
Why canāt orphans have phones?
Because it has a home button.
Why donāt orphans play baseball?
Because they canāt get a home run.
My cat got run down. That is a cat-astrophe.
Why did the skeleton run away from the crime scene?
He didn't have the guts to see it.
I almost got run over by a car.
For the rest of the day I was taking the backseat as I was wheely tried.
Yo momma is so ugly, Slenderman runs from her.
It's also why he has no eyes.
You walk into an old, run-down house and you see that a light is on. You walk over to the light and you see blood all over the room, and you run to the exit to leave, but when you get to the door, somehow it is locked from the outside and you have no choice but to go into the house more. You see another room with a light on, so you go in. When you go in, "flip," all the lights go off, then you see a bright light and then a screen shows up and it says, "Let the game show begin." You see other people next to you and they seem scared, then a wall comes down, you see optical cords and you go on, and then a chainsaw comes at you and it misses you, but the other kid behind you gets hit and dies.
Part two coming soon. This is inspired by the SCP Foundation. Have a nice summer.
Doctor, doctor! I feel like a pair of curtains! Well, pull yourself together, then.
Doctor, doctor! My brother's crazy! He thinks he's a chicken. Is he egging around? Yes, but we need to get the eggs.
Woman: Doctor, doctor! I keep thinking I'm an elephant! Doctor: Run around the room. Then the woman stomps around the room and breaks things.
Doctor, doctor! I fell like a bell! Shall I ring you, then? When can you ring me up?
Doctor, doctor! I have a ball stuck in my throat! Shall I bat it and get a run, then?
Sheila, the Aussie housewife, got out of the shower and slipped on the bathroom floor. Instead of falling over forwards or backwards, she did the splits and suctioned cupped herself to the floor.
She yelled out for her husband, "Bruce! Bruce!" and he came running in. "Bruce, Iāve bloody suctioned myself to the floor!" she said.
"Sātruth, Sheila!" Bruce said, and tried to pull her up. "Youāre stuck fast girl. Iāll go across the road and get me mate Cobber."
They came back and they both tried to pull her up from the floor. "No way, we canāt do it!" Cobber said, "So letās try Plan B."
"Plan B?" exclaimed Bruce, "Whatās that?"
"Iāll go home and get me hammer and chisel and weāll break the tiles under her," replied Cobber.
"Spot on!" Bruce said, "While youāre doing that, Iāll stay here and play with her nipples."
"Play with her nipples?" Cobber said, "Not exactly a good time for that mate!"
"No... " Bruce replied, "But I reckon if I can get her wet enough, we can slide her into the kitchen where the tiles are a lot cheaper."
What's the definition of disappointment?
Running into a wall with a boner, but it only hits your nose.
What do you call an orphan running home?
He couldn't find home.
Why did the blonde run outside naked?
She thought the steam was a gas leak.
On Christmas, Mexicans wake up in the morning, then take a nap.
Joking, I know they work hard. They run all the way to the border to decorate the barbed wire.
