Royalty

Royalty jokes

King

Alfred the Great was arguably the greatest king in England’s history.

The worst? Richard the Goat Fucker.

Carnival

Did you know that the Royal family like carnivals?

Princess Diana was really fond of bumper cars.

Blood

Mom: They say our kid neighbor has blue blood.

Son: Really?

Also 2 hours later:

Son: Mom, the kid doesn't have blue blood.

Mom: Son, I-

Prince Andrew

When you turn 100, you get a letter from the Queen. When you turn 16, you get a DM from Prince Andrew.

Death

What's the difference between the Queen's death and Princess Diana's death? The Queen died in peace, not pieces.

Memes

Rain

What did the ghost knights say to the cloud king?

"Our souls will rain forever."

Queen

TommyInnit said, "Long live the Queen." Look at where she's at now.

Chess

Why can't England play chess?

Because they have no queen, and they will soon lose their king.

Chess

Why are Nepalese bad at chess?

Because someone already killed their king!

Lizard

What do lizards and Queen Elizabeth have in common?

They both live long with dry skin.

Poker

Why does the Queen play poker on the toilet?

Because she always gets a Royal flush!

Prince

Prince, don't die! Just don't! Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaasse!

Jester

The QUEEN is JACK! KING off the JOKER!

I know what you're thinking, pervert. Actually, the joke's about a jester in drag. OK, I’m joking, the Queen cheated on the King with the Jester.

Death

Due to her death, you can no longer get a letter from the Queen when you turn 100.

Instead, you now receive a text from Prince Andrew when you turn 14.

Difference

What’s the difference between a fly and Lady Diana?

The sound when they hit the windshield.

King

What did kings say when they were made king?

Allah ail (All hail) [insert name here]!