What is the difference between Paul Walker and the queen? Paul Walker passed 100 before he died
Dolly Parton and Queen Elizabeth went to the Pearly Gates on the same day.
They both met with an Angel to find out if they would be admitted to Heaven.
The angel said, "Unfortunately, there's only one space in Heaven today, so I must decide which one of you will be admitted."
The Angel asked Dolly if there was some particular reason why she should go to Heaven.
Dolly took off her top and said, "Look at these, they're the most perfect breasts God ever created, and I'm sure it will please God to be able to see them every day, for eternity."
The Angel thanked Dolly and asked Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth, the same question.
The Queen walked over to a toilet, pulled the lever, and flushed it without saying a word.
The Angel immediately said, "OK, your Majesty, you may go into Heaven."
Dolly was outraged and asked, "What was that all about? I showed you two of God's own perfect creations, and you turned me down. She simply flushed a commode, and she got admitted to Heaven! Would you explain that to me?"
"Sorry, Dolly," said the Angel, "but even in Heaven, a royal flush beats a pair - no matter how big they are."
Why can't British people play chess?
Because they lost their queen.
Due to her death, you can no longer get a letter from the Queen when you turn 100. Instead, you now receive a text from Prince Andrew when you turn 14.
What’s the difference between Diana and Casper the ghost?
Casper can go through walls, Diana can't.
Queen Elizabeth came back before your dad did.
Guess what you get when you cross a dark side and your king?
What’s the difference between a Mercedes and a Skoda?
Princess Di wouldn’t be seen dead in the back of a Skoda...
The Ruler of Varvona wanted a fruitcake, but his subjects showed up at his castle with a Christian instead.
And he said: "NO, NO, NO! YOU IMBECILES! NOT THAT KIND OF FRUITCAKE!"
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Queen.
Queen who?
You don't know the queen? You're crazy!
Why can't the USA and England play chess?
USA has no towers and England has no queen.
Grass is green. I am the queen. If only I can see you scream on the screen.
Things that rhyme with green, queen, screen: clean, between, been, ...
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Di.
Di who?
See, easily forgotten.
What's the difference between Freddie Mercury and Princess Diana?
Freddie lived long enough to be a Queen.
What do Princess Diana and the Beatles have in common?
They both made quite an impact in Europe.
What's the difference between 63 cents and Princess Diana?
It's easier to scrape up 63 cents.
What do lizards and Queen Elizabeth have in common?
They both live long with dry skin.
What’s Queen Elizabeth’s pickup line?
You’re breathtaking!
What's the difference between the Queen's death and Princess Diana's death? The Queen died in peace, not pieces.
R.I.P Queen Elizabeth II.
