Royalty jokes
I know Marie Antoinette jokes aren't funny, but they're nothing to lose your head over.
Jokes about Marie Antoinette aren't funny, but that's no reason to lose your head.
What did Cinderella say to Prince Charming?
"Want to see if it fits?"
What’s the difference between a fly and Lady Diana?
The sound when they hit the windshield.
What is the difference between Paul Walker and the Queen?
Paul Walker passed 100 before he died.
Why can't England play chess?
Because they have no queen, and they will soon lose their king.
Dolly Parton and Queen Elizabeth went to the Pearly Gates on the same day.
They both met with an Angel to find out if they would be admitted to Heaven.
The angel said, "Unfortunately, there's only one space in Heaven today, so I must decide which one of you will be admitted."
The Angel asked Dolly if there was some particular reason why she should go to Heaven.
Dolly took off her top and said, "Look at these, they're the most perfect breasts God ever created, and I'm sure it will please God to be able to see them every day, for eternity."
The Angel thanked Dolly and asked Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth, the same question.
The Queen walked over to a toilet, pulled the lever, and flushed it without saying a word.
The Angel immediately said, "OK, your Majesty, you may go into Heaven."
Dolly was outraged and asked, "What was that all about? I showed you two of God's own perfect creations, and you turned me down. She simply flushed a commode, and she got admitted to Heaven! Would you explain that to me?"
"Sorry, Dolly," said the Angel, "but even in Heaven, a royal flush beats a pair - no matter how big they are."
Why can't British people play chess?
Because they lost their queen.
Due to her death, you can no longer get a letter from the Queen when you turn 100.
Instead, you now receive a text from Prince Andrew when you turn 14.
Yo mama's so old, she knew Burger King when he was a prince.
What’s the difference between Diana and Casper the ghost?
Casper can go through walls, Diana can't.
Did you hear about the new drink commemorating Princess Diana?
It had nine shots and seven chasers!
Queen Elizabeth came back before your dad did.
What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball?
Gock gock gock ghghghkghlhglhglhk.
Guess what you get when you cross a dark side and your king?
What’s the difference between a Mercedes and a Skoda?
Princess Di wouldn’t be seen dead in the back of a Skoda...
The Ruler of Varvona wanted a fruitcake, but his subjects showed up at his castle with a Christian instead.
And he said: "NO, NO, NO! YOU IMBECILES! NOT THAT KIND OF FRUITCAKE!"
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Queen.
Queen who?
You don't know the queen? You're crazy!
Why can't the USA and England play chess?
USA has no towers and England has no queen.
Grass is green. I am the queen. If only I can see you scream on the screen.
Things that rhyme with green, queen, screen: clean, between, been, ...