Rope

Rope jokes

My wife is so fat, I took her to the Macy's Day parade. They attached ropes to her.

Dentist: Open up, sir.

Me: So... I hate my life, my family, my sisters, my dog, my cat, and I tried to take a bath with my toaster, but my dog took it. That's why I hate my dog. And my cat died trying to chew my rope; it choked... Yea.

Dentist: I... meant your mouth... so I can clean your teeth.

Me: :O Ohhhh, my bad.

Dentist: Do you need help??

Me: Yep.

Dentist: ...

Me: ....

I once called a depressed guy [to ask] why he loves ropes so much, and he left HUNGing on the phone. (I'm not English, so I could've talked bad.)

An adopted kid is walking to school when an emo kid approaches him. He says the emo kid, "Do you have rope?"

"No," replies the adopted kid.

"Dang it! I hate you," says the emo kid. "Now the adopted one is angry. Well, at least I'm loved," says the adopted kid.

If you know an emo kid, please stay away. The depression is contagious. I'm a survivor.

Like if you dislike emos.

Who will hit the ground first, the girl or the apple?

I don't know, it depends if the girl is emo or not. If she is emo, the rope will catch her.

A leaf and an emo fell off a cliff, who landed first? The leaf, because the rope stopped the emo.

Which one fell first, the Emo Kid or the apple?

The apple, because the rope caught the kid.

A depressed kid takes a drink of water and someone takes it and takes a drink. "Oh come on, the train stopped, the rope broke, I couldn't get on the building, the gun was empty, the knife was dull, the bridge was too low, and the cliff was nonexistent, and now you took the poison!"

I asked the emo kid how it was hanging. He didn't reply because the rope was too tight.

I told my mom to get rope for a project, and when she got home, I got the good old coat hanger out and hung myself up.

An emo girl jumped out of a tree at the same time a feather fell to the ground... What hit the ground first?

The feather, the girl was stopped by a rope.

What will fall faster, an emo or an apple?

An apple, because the emo would get caught on the rope.