Night

Lostin Flowers

One night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars. As I lay there, I thought to myself: WHERE’S THE ROOF!

Night

where roof

Last night in bed, I was gazing up at the stars and was thinking to myself…

Where the f*ck is my roof?

Night

sky

Last night in bed, I was gazing up at the stars and was thinking to myself…

Where the f*ck is my roof?

Difference

Yeetus

What is the difference between peanut butter and a dead baby? One sticks to the roof of you mouth, while the other one doesn’t!

Drunk

Anonymous

A man walks into a rooftop bar and takes a seat next to another guy. “What are you drinking?” he asks the guy.

“Super Power Beer,” he says.

“Oh, yeah? I doubt it?”

Then he shows him: He swigs some beer, dives off the roof, and lands with no damage what so ever. He walks back into the bar.

“Amazing!” the man says. “Let me have some!” The man grabs the beer. He drinks it, jumps off the roof —and falls 15 stories to the ground. Splat. The barman says. “You know, you’re a real idiot when you’re drunk, Superman.”

Wait

Anonymous

I walk into my driveway Steven Hawkins is on my roof

Oh wait never mind he just fell

Legs

Dark wolf

What has one head, one foot and four legs? A: A Bed

Q: Did you hear the joke about the roof? A: Never mind, it’s over your head!

Q: How many letters are in The Alphabet? A: There are 11 letters in The Alphabet

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Q: How can you spell cold with two letters? A: IC (icy)

Q: What state is surrounded by the most water? A: Hawaii (this is really just a trick riddle)

Q: David’s father had three sons: Snap, Crackle, and ? A: David!

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Q: If you were in a ra

Legs

Dark wolf

What has one head, one foot and four legs? A: A Bed

Q: Did you hear the joke about the roof? A: Never mind, it’s over your head!

Q: How many letters are in the alphabet A.11 A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T

Fat

ANoNyMoUs

Yo mama so fat that when the cashier at KFC asked her what size bucket she wants, she said the one on the roof.

Depression

Anonymous

if an emo doesn’t get better by Christmas Santas reindeer won’t be the only thing jumping off roofs this year

Fat

Anonymous

yo mama so fat that when she went to KFC she asked for the bucket on the roof

Lost

Anonymous

Yesterday we lost a quarter of our roof in the storm, oof

Wife

MB

This city slicker broke down on a country road, he look around and in the distance he spotted a farm house. When he finally got there he asked the farmer if he has a phone he could use because his had no reception. The farmer told him he could use it if he married his daughter. The guy said he really didn’t wanna get married and the farmer said if you marry my daughter I’ll give you half my farm…the guy said lemme see her…the farmer hollered “hey you” get over here…and she said duh ok. The ol boy looked at her and said nooo thank you. The father said I’ll give you all my farm and my bank account if you’ll marry my daughter…the ol boy thought for a minute and said “we’ll I guess I can put a sack over her head” So they married and the farmer kept his word and gave him everything. One day the guy was up fixin the roof and Holland hey you get me some nails…his wife said duh nails, nails he said yes nails and showed her one she said “oh dun nails nails” he said yes nails. So she got him some. He was hammering away when he hit his thumb and he yells oh F. . . It! and she turned and Hollered Duh A Sack A Sack Duh A Sack!

Darkness

Anonymous

Tim and Tom where at work Tim say I sick of this I going to act like a idot to get sent home so Tim was on the roof saying I am a light bulb the boss walk in and say Tim go home your acting like a dick the the say Tom why you packing up for he says I can’t work in the fucking dark can I

Depression

Anonymous

Person: where do i commit sucide Dog: roof Person: good idea

3

Start

Anonymous

I started selling landmines disguised as prayer mats. Prophets are through the roof!

High

FalcieAdam

A man finds his son climbing the roof of his house. The kid kept using all sort of material to climb up, but the dad didn’t pay much attention. Next day the kid went to the state tower, and kept climbing using some adhesive gloves. The dads asks his son for a second time: " Son! why are you doing this?" the son replies: “You told me to aim up high”.

Bomb

Funny but sad.

What did niki Minaj say when she sat next to a bomb?

Bang bang right through the roof. Bang bang all over you.

Puns

Overwatch_Gamer321

Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was excellent.

Skeleton

W.D. gaster

what does a skeleton put on his roof shin-gulls