What do you call Dr. Disrespect on top of a building?
Diddler on the Roof.
There were these two guys in a lunatic asylum... and one night, they decide they don't like living in an asylum anymore. They decide they're going to escape!
So, like, they get up onto the roof, and there, just across this narrow gap, they see the rooftops of the town, stretching away in the moonlight... stretching away to freedom. Now, the first guy, he jumps right across with no problem. But his friend, his friend didn't dare make the leap. You see... You see, he's afraid of falling.
So then, the first guy has an idea... He says "Hey! I have my flashlight with me! I'll shine it across the gap between the buildings. You can walk along the beam and join me!" B-but the second guy just shakes his head. He suh-says... He says "Wh-what do you think I am? Crazy? You'd turn it off when I was half way across!"
Israel is so fat when he goes to KFC and they ask what size bucket he says "the one on the roof"😂
A woman walks out of the shower, winks at her boyfriend, and says, "Honey, I shaved myself down there. Do you know what that means?" The boyfriend says, "Yeah, it means the drain is clogged again." An old woman walked into a dentist's office, took off all her clothes, and spread her legs. The dentist said, "I think you have the wrong room." "You put in my husband's teeth last week," she replied. "Now you have to remove them." A penguin takes his car to the shop and the mechanic says it'll take about an hour for him to check it. While he waits, the penguin goes to an ice cream shop and orders a big sundae to pass the time. The penguin isn't the cleanest eater, and he ends up covered in melted ice cream. When he returns to the shop, the mechanic takes one look at him and says, "Looks like you blew a seal." "No," the penguin insists, "it's just ice cream." If your Uncle Jack was on his roof, and he wanted you to help him down, would you help your Uncle Jack off? A family's driving behind a garbage truck when a dildo flies out and thumps against the windshield. Embarrassed, and trying to spare her young son's innocence, the mother turns around and says, "Don't worry, dear. That was just an insect." "Wow," the boy replies. "I'm surprised it could get off the ground with a cock like that!"
What do you call a homeless Hitler?
A roofless dictator.
My neighbor has been mad at his wife for sunbathing nude. I personally am on the fence.
My Mrs is going to hit the roof when she realises I've replaced the bed with a trampoline !
how do you make a emo jump (tell him to go the i roof)
jack and jill went up the hill jack fell down his *ss was bound, and jill continued up the hill jack came back and beat jill's back, and he got the ultimate kill.
If I'm still single by Christmas, Santa won't be the only one jumping off a roof.
Once there was a woman who had a husband and a dog, the husband dies. The dog would always sleep under the bed and when the woman would go to sleep, she'd put her hand down and the dog would like it to say she/he was alright. One night it was thunder storming. She put her hand down and the dog licked normally. She heard the dog whimper so she put her hand down like normal, as the dog always does he/she likes her hand.
Then she heard dripping coming from the bathroom so she went to go stop the leaking that might be coming from the tap. But the tap wasn't on, nor was it dripping. She turns on the light and looks up at the roof to see if the roof was leaking but turns out her dog was hung by its head above the bathtub.
On the mirror it said, "Humans can like too", in the dogs blood.
This is a true story, don't be afraid to look it up!
Kiwis forehead is so big when he leaves to go to work he has to use a sunroof to drive 😏
Roses are red, my pencil is blunt.
A parrot trapped on a roof keeps telling the fire crew to f*ck off!
I'm having lunch on the roof of the Twin Towers, and the biggest plane I've ever seen is flying toward...
yo mama so fat when she sat on the roof of a walmart it lowered the prices
What does a skeleton tile his roof with?
Tiles
Wtf did you think he’d it with
Your Mom so fat that she went on to commit suicide but the roof fell off.....
What's the difference between a bird and a kid on makes it off the roof.
I went to the mental hospital. I asked one of the kid what its favorite animal was. They said a bird. I asked for a reason. It's because they both jump off roofs.
Mrs Kadie- I just heard about a FGTEEV video about vegan nuggets. Duddy- sup FGTEEVERS me and James Marsden just got some Chick-filla. Viewers- Got ya again Mrs Kadie . Mrs Kadie- Vincent and James I am going to push you off your roof Duddy and James- AHHHHHHH
