Sex is like math.
Subtract the clothes, add the bed, divide the legs, and pray to God there is no multiplying.
A young Greek couple got married, and at their wedding...
...the mother of the bride took the bride aside for a quick chat.
"My sweet," she said, "you're now a woman. I'm so proud. Some advice for you now that you're married: Greek men are very particular, and at some point when you're making love to your new husband, he might suggest that you 'turn around,' if you know what I mean. If that sort of thing makes you uncomfortable, do not feel pressured to say yes."
The bride thanked her mother for the advice, and the wedding continued. That night, as she and her husband consummated the marriage, she was mildly surprised to learn that he never asked her to 'turn around.'
They spent a beautiful week together on their honeymoon and made love many times. But still, to her mild surprise, her husband never asked her to 'turn around.'
Their one year anniversary arrived, and they made love to celebrate the milestone. But again, to her mild surprise, the husband never asked her to 'turn around.' This continued for years: their second anniversary, third, fourth...
Finally, on their fifth anniversary, her husband started getting romantic with her in bed and said, "Honey, we've been married for five years. I was thinking we maybe try something new. I thought this time you could 'turn around,' if you know what I mean."
She replied, emphatically, "No! No, I do not do that, I am not that kind of woman!"
Without getting defensive, her husband simply said, "That's all well and good, honey. But I thought you said you wanted children?"
Cousins on the streets means lovers in the sheets. 😂👀
I have 206 bones in my body, but when I look at you, I have 207.
Girl: Hi (flirt)
Boy: Hi? (reluctant)
Girl: I'm a cheerleader captain, I'm also single (flirt).
Boy 2: Excuse me?! He's MY MAN...
I asked what was her favorite type of magic. She said, "the one you make."
Roses are red, violets are purple, lay in my bed so I can suck your nurple.
Are you winter? Because you will be coming soon.
Are you a horse, because I want to ride you?
Me: *Meets girl, starts to form crush* Me after I get enough courage to talk to her: “Are you a casket lid because I want you on top of me?”
“What do you call my friend group?” “Suicide Squad.”
I have a girlfriend.
Roses are red, violets are fine, I'll be the six, you be the nine.
Roses are red, Violets are twisted, You bend over, You're about to get fisted.
If you were a fruit, you’d be a ‘fine-apple.’
One day Jack and Jill went up a hill. Jack got Jill drunk and horny, then took her to a hotel because Jack wanted to suck and lick her candy stick.
You know Hitler loves you when he comes up to you on Valentine's Day and he says, "Will you be my Valenein?"
If I had a garden, I would put your tulips against my tulips... 🌷
Prince, I love you very much! Happy anniversary! Love you! ❤️❤️😘
Who wants to be my boyfriend?
Who wants to be my boyfriend?
