When Lexa took Clarke out on a date, she walked past the candle shop, she bought all the candles. After the date, they went back to the Heda's (Commanders) Tower, which is basically a huge candle. "All I wanna do is Candle you"
(Lexa and Clarke from 'The 100' [ #LexaDeservedBetter ] R.I.P. Lexa...)
roses are red, violets are blue, i have five fingers, and the middle one is for u.
What was the computer's best pickup line? Nice bits
My crush said that she would rather die than have sex with me...it turns out that she was lying.
Roses are red your penis is blue the bed sheet has turned a different color too.
a girl and a boy were on a date, the boy kept farting. the girl asked, What Is Wrong?!?!the boy replied, "explosive diareah." the girl said ew.
The boy went to the bathroom, and the place exploded. the center of the explosion, the bathroom.
What is black and white and is dead?
My Chemical Romance.
Roes are red violets are twisted come back to my place you might get fisted
My chance of finding love
1 and 2 fell in love. The 2 said, "You're the only 1 for me!"
There is a man and a women on a date.
The women asked what kind of things do you love.
The table starts to lift up on the mans side and the man says sorry.
hey you down to fuck? no i’m just down
Are you in the alphabet cos I wanna give you the d
A man and a woman get married. The woman was Retired hooker. The man was a poet. The man said as they did 69, you taste better than my most delecious gormet meal. The woman said, well you aren’t too bad either. But the best 69 I’ve gotten and given was harry. He did it for 24 hours nonstop. They dot divorced that night.
I like my women like a day. 20 four year olds. 24 hours of fun
What turns a girl on more than having sex with her
When she finds out that you have a vibrator too
How did the blind girl get a date? She said it was love at first sight
My Sex Life
When Stephen Hawking was asked why he was instantly attracted to his new girlfriend, he said, "It's simple, she pushes all the right buttons."
*on a date*
me - "I get to work with animals all day."
her - "How sweet! What do you do?"
me - "I'm a butcher."
