Women be like don't tell me what to wear, proceeds to tell men what to wear.
Everybody is wondering what position Kenny will give his brother in their new company.
Probably top.
Kenny likes to be the bottom in every sexual encounter.
Why can't an orphan role-play Star Wars?
Because they have no one to play Darth Vader.
I am a good role model, because you look up to me. Deez nuts!
I was in an audition for the lead role of movie "Aquaman." The Director told me to dive into a pool. Then outta nowhere Penaldo showed up and made a big dive into the pool. The director was impressed and selected Penaldo for the movie.
Shame on you Penaldo for destroying my dream!
Women are only for sex!
They are good for cooking and sex!
Nothing but those things.
In case there's a school shooting, the teachers can help out and shoot the kids.
John Wilkes Booth, to his fiancee: "I have an important role to play tonight at Ford's Theater."
Fiancee: "Break a leg!"
A man who thinks he's funny but is actually a transvestite/transformer.
Kid says, “Are you a soldier?”
Soldier says, “Mhm.”
Kid says, “I wanna be a soldier someday.”
Soldier says, “Really?”
The kid says, “Yeah, but father says I don’t have the balls to be a soldier, but he’s right. I’m a FUCKING PRETTY PRETTY PRINCESS!!!"
Adopted kid:
Hey, Alex, what are you doing?
Alex:
Nothing, just playing my game. Anyways, you know you can call me "dad."
Adopted kid:
OK, dad Alex.
Alex:
Oh, come on! My game! I’m winning. Let’s go!
Adopted kid:
I’m so glad I have a mom.
I went up to a priest and asked if he participated in NNN. He replied, "How can I, with all these people calling me daddy?"
I looked at my daughter. I told her what's wrong.
She said I wasn't being a daddy to her until...
Stephen Hawking is such a bad role model for our kids.
He only ever looks one way when crossing the street.
what was sally's role in a football game?
the football ;-;
If I could be any creature, I would be a Unicorn because they are Beautiful, Majestic, Sparkly, Bright, Gods. They create Joy and Happiness everywhere they go.
Unicorns made my life better when I got to know them more. ^-^ They filled my life with more Happiness. I believe in the Unicorns, and they'll believe in me. I am not a Unicorn, although I am the Princess of the Unicorn Land, but if I could be any creature, I would be a Unicorn! :P
What do an acting role and playing sports have in common?
If you break a leg, you get cast.
Not many people know this, but Soulja Boy was the lead role in a very successful children's movie a while ago. Released to theaters nationwide in 2006 was Honey, I Crunked the Kids.
Director: Hi, we are making a huge cliffhanger in this movie.
Actor: Really? What do I do?
Director: You will play the part of the cliff. (holds up hanging rope)
I once auditioned to be in Sausage Party. I thought I filled the role well.
