Q: Why did the chef get fired?
A: He took cooking advice from Hitler!
What does Bill Cosby and someone eating at McDonald's have in common?
They're both mc lovin' what they're eating.
What do Ellen DeGeneres and homeless people have in common?
They don’t cook because they love eating out.
What did the Alabama graduate say to the Tennessee graduate?
"Welcome to McDonald's, may I take your order please?"
A chicken walks into a bar.
He orders Dr. Pepper.
He then lays a good scrambled egg.
You walk into a McDonald's and you ask for some extra mayo, and they put too much on there.
I say I didn't order a "McCumshot."
Yo' mama sometimes always happens to let you know you're back in New York -- like the way people order in a restaurant: "Could you take my order before Jesus gets back? What's the matter with you? I've evolved into another species here, you understand? I can't eat clam chowder no more. I gotta see the cyborg menu, you understand?"
Tibia honest, it takes a lot of spine to memorize all the bones in the skeletal system. I mean, there's a skele-ton of em! You gotta be boned up for the skeletal system exam, buddy chum pal. Now that was a humerus ribtickling skelepun. Besides, if ya don't know all of the bones in the skeletal system, get boned, fucking numbskull. Did those tickle your funny bone? Now I've been working down to the bone typing these puns, kid. Now if you hate all these, I won't be bothered, I got thick skin! But first, lemme take a skelfie in the skelevator playing my trom-bone. Now, I gotta go to Grillby's. They got a discount on spare-ribs. Bone-voyage, my homeslice breadslice dawg.
At what speed is the curry going at?
In a hurry to the curry, man!
I'd tell you a joke about pizza, but it's too cheesy.
Me and my mom order Chinese food.
My mom grabs the egg roll and starts licking it up and down and sucking on it in front of the Chinese delivery guy. I said, "Why are you doing that?" Then my mom says, "I love him a long time so we don't have to pay for the food."
I drove past Wendy’s the other day. No other stores were open, so I asked, “Wendy’s openin’ then?”
Your mama is so fat, she only knows three words: KFC.
Your mom shat you out after having Taco Bell. That’s why she calls you a little shat.
My girlfriend is 19 and I'm 29. We go out to eat in a restaurant, but the whole time I have to deal with being accused of being a pedo, being called disgusting and disturbed.
It completely ruined our 10 year anniversary.
"Pizza place, pizza place, are you there?"
"You're ass heck bye."
Chinese takeout $15.00, gas to get there $1.50. Getting home to find they've forgotten one of your dishes... rice-less!
Is your body from McDonald's, because I'm loving it?
I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.
What do you call an epileptic midget that works at Little Caesars?
Little Seizures.
