Man asking waitress, "Pardon me, miss, may I ask you about the menu, please?"
Waitress, "It's none of your business about the men I please!"
Where do you go to get the best fish?
A restaurant on the Titanic.
When your wife gets pregnant and you don't want a kid, just come on down to Momma Mia's Pizzeria and abortion clinic!
Welcome to codi's pizzeria and abortion clinic; your loss is our sauce!
Hot women with big boobs work at Hooters, but where does a handicap woman work?
IHOP.
McDonald's was originally called "Mac and Dick," so, if you think about it, you could be enjoying a Big Dick instead of a Big Mac.
A guy sits at a bar in a skyscraper restaurant high above the city. He slams a shot of tequila, goes over to the window, and jumps out.
So, this guy walked into a cannibal bar. The barista asked him what he wants, and the man ordered water. Then he left, because he wasn't a cannibal and just wanted a glass of water.
"Mitchnite burger."
A nun, badly needing to use the restroom, walked into a local Hooters. The place was hopping with music and loud conversation and every once in a while "the lights would turn off."
Each time the lights would go out, the place would erupt into cheers.
However, when the revelers saw the nun, the room went dead silent.
She walked up to the bartender and asked, "May I please use the restroom?"
The bartender replied, "OK, but I should warn you that there is a statue of a naked man in there wearing only a fig leaf."
"Well, in that case, I'll just look the other way," said the nun.
So the bartender showed the nun to the back of the restaurant.
After a few minutes, she came back out, and the whole place stopped just long enough to give the nun a loud round of applause!
She went to the bartender and said, "Sir, I don't understand. Why did they applaud for me just because I went to the restroom?"
"Well, now they know you're one of us," said the bartender, "Would you like a drink?"
"No thank you, but, I still don't understand," said the puzzled nun.
"You see," laughed the bartender, "every time someone lifts the fig leaf on that statue, the lights go out."
Now, how about that drink?
I asked a Japanese chef how to make a good bowl of ramen, he said "Let me show you."
I had to give up my vegetarian diet.
Turns out they're a lot harder to catch than cows.
Your mum's so fat that when she goes to KFC, they run out of stock of chicken.
I ask my sister why the Chinese owner brings us free food all the time.
My sister said to me "I love him long time."
Cause she loves to toss the salad even though she ain’t a chef!
Helen Keller walked into a bar, and a table, and chairs.
What do you call a guy with a big dick that likes to eat fish?
Long John Silvers or Captain D's.
Two Indians went to a fine restaurant. They ordered parathas with curry. HAHAHAHAHA
Why are french fries rude?
My friend talking to fat boi: "I can order you at McDonald's: Double Big Mac, triple quarter pounder cheeseburger."
