Restaurant

Restaurant jokes

Rice

1 view ·

A: This rice is very delicious!

B: Ya! It is more delicious if it is cooked.

Food

2 views ·

A: It’s very delicious! Great! Fantastic!

B: Thank you.

A: People don’t speak when they eat delicious foods!

Dinner

6 views ·

What is a good time for dinner, and what do I do for you? And dinner, dinner, and what, yyyuyy dinner? 🍴 Night time.

Bill

5 views ·

Waitress: You wanna box for your leftovers?

Me: No, but I'll arm wrestle you for the bill.

Waitress

137 views ·

So, I went out to eat the other day, and the waitress came up to me and asked if I wanted a glass of water. I said, "Yes ma'am." She said, "Oh honey, you don't have to call me ma'am, I'm not that old." I said, "Okay, thanks bitch."

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  • Chicken

    130 views ·

    Who works at IHOP? A girl with one leg.

    P1: Why did the chicken cross the road?

    P2: To get to the other side DUH?!?

    P1: No dumbass, it's to get run over because he has depression, a chronic illness, and his father left him for a good for nothing pimp that doesn’t even give a shit about how he feels. (Kinda like me).

    P2: Holy shit are u ok? *Some random eavesdropping fucker dials 911 in a hurry*

    Buffet

    12 views ·

    A man was sitting in the restaurant and ordered a whole buffet. He is visited by an oracle. Apollo says, "If you eat that buffet, everyone you love will die."

    "Up yours," the man said, "What are they going to die of, famine?"

    Moments later, there was an incident that took place in the restaurant. Everyone literally died. It turned out the restaurant had a B-. I said, "Is that really a thing groaning on the hospital?"

    The doctor said, "Know that is your condition, you have hepatitis B-."

    "What the FU***** SH**"

    Apollo is sitting in Mount Olympus, dying also in laughter.

    Spaghetti

    5 views ·

    My pal asked me why nobody wants to eat the spaghetti he makes in his restaurant.

    Well, because it's impastable.

    Pizza

    6 views ·

    What do you call Dominos when it doesn't know how to cook pizza?

    Domi-don't-knows...