New Religion Jokes - Page 26 - Worst Jokes Ever

What's better: nailing Jesus or getting nailed?

Depends on who's sucking.

Jesus and Satan are just basically Homer and Flanders. One tries to help the other, only for Satan to just say, "Shut up!"

What's the difference between Jesus and a picture? You need only one nail to hang a picture.

Why are people mad at me? All I did was tell the truth and put the Bible in the fiction section of the library.

Why can’t an orphan go to a youth church? Because they need a parent to pick them up.

Like this if you laughed.

These orphan jokes would leave them crying to their mommies if they had any.

I made a website for orphans. Unfortunately, it doesn’t have a home page.

Why is it ok to hit an orphan? It’s not like they can tell their parents.

Why did the orphan go to church? So he had someone to call Father.

Why do orphans love boomerangs? Because they come back. (Clearly someone didn't come back with the milk)

Why was the orphan so successful? When they told him go big or go home, he only had one option.

What’s the only advantage of being an orphan? Nobody makes jokes about yo mamma.

Hope you had fun reading this! My friend and I laughed reading all of em!

My current love life is like a god. It’s not real.

A pastor asked his child what his favorite bible verse was... He responded, "Keep watch," because he wanted a watch.

You should always wash your sex toys. That's why priests baptize babies.

Q: Why can't science be combined with religion?

A: 'Cause science creates skyscrapers and planes, while religion combines them.

Men and women are not equal, speaking biologically and mentally. I don't care what other feminists say. Men are naturally physically stronger, while women are more mentally stable (sometimes). The internet and the media will lie. You feminists say that you are stronger. Well, you wish. You can't hit a girl because she is more sensitive, but she says she is stronger. Like, what the hell?

We're not sexist men; you're sexist women. And BTW, you'll rot in hell for hating God's creation. And also, men were created before women. Search it up in the Bible or online.

Two nuns in a bathtub.

One nun asks, "Where's the soap?"

The other nun says, "It sure does."

Why do priests perform baptisms? So they can see children wet.

Some of you need to go to church. I don't want you in hell with me.

When God said, "Let there be light," He saw your mum and said, "Let there be dark."

Little Johnny and his mom were sitting in church one day when suddenly Johnny said, "Mom, I think I'm gonna throw up!"

Then his mom said, "Go across the field and into the bushes, hopefully no one will see you there."

Johnny comes back a minute later, and his mom asks, "Did you make it?" Then Johnny said, "No, but there was a box by the door that SAID 'For The Sick!'"