Religion jokes
Why doesn't Jesus participate in Battle Raps?
All his comebacks take three days.
You'd think with Jason being a pastor's kid, his parents would have gotten him Invisalign.
And an exorcism.
Why did Catholic women stop going to church?
Because it takes Jesus three days to rise.
What was Jesus's favorite sport?
Lacrosse.
What’s a reverse exorcism?
It’s when the demon tells the priest to get out of the child.
Did you hear about the nun that got kicked out of the convent?
She got caught squatting on the cucumbers in the garden.
Did you hear about the nun that got kicked out of the convent?
She got caught squatting on the cucumbers in the garden.
What's the difference between a priest and Woody from Toy Story?
Woody goes limp when a kid walks in the room.
Q: What do nuns and bathrooms have in common?
A: They both have glory holes for pleasing.
How do you play chess with a Catholic?
You put a condom on the bishop.
What is the difference between a nun and a prostitute?
One serves the nailed to the cross, one nailed by her boss.
What is the difference between a nun and a prostitute?
One kneels to pray, one kneels to pay.
What is the difference between a nun and a prostitute?
One says, "God is my father." The other says, "Who's the father and who is my son?"
What is the difference between a nun and a prostitute?
One is for Sunday morning, and one is for Sunday night.
What did the priest say when he walked into an elementary school?
Let us prey.
What is another word for Arab man who is a Palestinian Muslim?
Palestinian masseur.
If you look for something for 10 days and a woman walks in, opens a cabinet, and finds it:
So, just hire a female pope for the Holy Grail that has been missing for 500 years so she just opens a cabinet and she finds it.
Jesus walks into a hotel, hands the inn keeper three nails and says, "Can ya put me up for the night?"
A gay couple walks into a Muslim bar. The tender flares up and says, “let me guess, a little blood on the rocks?”
If an Indian kid is conceived in incest, would that make them OMbred?