Religion jokes
Did you hear about the nun that got kicked out of the convent?
She got caught squatting on the cucumbers in the garden.
What's the difference between a priest and Woody from Toy Story?
Woody goes limp when a kid walks in the room.
Q: What do nuns and bathrooms have in common?
A: They both have glory holes for pleasing.
How do you play chess with a Catholic?
You put a condom on the bishop.
What is the difference between a nun and a prostitute?
One serves the nailed to the cross, one nailed by her boss.
What is the difference between a nun and a prostitute?
One kneels to pray, one kneels to pay.
What is the difference between a nun and a prostitute?
One says, "God is my father." The other says, "Who's the father and who is my son?"
What is the difference between a nun and a prostitute?
One is for Sunday morning, and one is for Sunday night.
What did the priest say when he walked into an elementary school?
Let us prey.
What is another word for Arab man who is a Palestinian Muslim?
Palestinian masseur.
If you look for something for 10 days and a woman walks in, opens a cabinet, and finds it:
So, just hire a female pope for the Holy Grail that has been missing for 500 years so she just opens a cabinet and she finds it.
Jesus walks into a hotel, hands the inn keeper three nails and says, "Can ya put me up for the night?"
A gay couple walks into a Muslim bar. The tender flares up and says, “let me guess, a little blood on the rocks?”
If an Indian kid is conceived in incest, would that make them OMbred?
What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?
It only takes one nail to hang up the picture.
A priest was driving down the road when a cop pulled him over.
The cop asked him if he had anything to drink. The priest said just water.
The cop said, "Then why can I smell wine?"
The priest said, "Good Lord, it happened again!"
What did the Buddhist say to the pizza delivery boy?
"Make me one with everything."
Roses are red, the Jews are a cult.
I've practiced Metzitzah b'peh on adults.
Friday's opening is open. Religion: "Dark model?" Hopi, Kahan, Virra, Sayla, Salafa, Sales, Power, Sleep. Google is “that cave”.
Two priests are pulled over by the police. One priest asks the cop what the reason for pulling them over is. The cop says, "We are looking for two child molesters." The priest look at each other and tell the cop they'll do it.