What do you call a nun in a wheelchair? A roamin' Catholic.
Yo mama so fat, she fell off the judgement room and broke the 7 layers of hell.
What’s black and white and red all over?
A crushed nun!
What’s that black stuff between an elephants toes?
Slow natives.
A rapist, pedophile, and a priest walk into a bar.
He orders a beer.
What’s a priest's favorite sport?
Golf, because most of the holes are less than 18.
Do you want to give your life to God and be in Heaven?
What do you call someone who is half a Jew?
Jew-ish.
How do you know Adam and Eve were white?
Have you ever tried taking a rib from black women?
What is red, pink, yellow, green, orange?
A black woman dressed for church.
Do y'all love Jesus, God? 🙏❤️
I used to believe everything in the Bible until I read about the Jew giving out the free fish.
What’s the difference between God and Hitler?
God made thousands of bread, Hitler made thousands of toast.
Why can't Jesus judge gay people?
He got nailed right before he died.
They say you should love your neighbor. Does that mean I have to love the president?
What do priests give children?
Syphilis.
Did you hear about that Muslim party?
It was a blast!
I bought my fat wheelchair son a treadmill for his birthday, then that big brainless special motherfucker cried over it and threw a fit cuz his fat special ass couldn't get up out of his wheelchair and said for Jesus to raise him up and give him working and movable legs.
God creates dog.
God: "You are man's best friend."
Dog: "That's pretty sexist."
God: "No, man as in- You know what, FUCK IT! You can't speak!"
Dog: "....."
God: "And chocolate kills you!"
Dog: "🐶"
"When God sends me to hell... I want him to hesitate." -Techno
During a discussion at Sunday school, a nun asks the children what they think God takes you by when you die. A kid responds, "I think God takes you by your feet, because once I walked into my parents' room and my mom's feet were in the air and she was screaming, "Oh God, I'm coming!!!"
