Religion jokes
What Disney movie does the church make little girls watch?
Snow White and the Seven Deadly Sins.
What is the definition of suspicion? A: A nun doing squats in a cucumber field.
Did you know that good Catholic girls like to WAP?
Yeah, they are all about Worship and Prayer.
What is the difference between a nun and a hooker?
One makes you believe in Heaven, the other makes you feel it.
What is the difference between a nun and a hooker?
One reads, the other breeds.
What's the difference between a nun and a hooker?
One is glowing and the other is blowing.
What is the difference between a nun and a hooker?
One to trust and the other to thrust.
What’s the difference between a nun and a hooker?
One kneels for salvation.
The other kneels with salivation.
Why won't an American atheist convert to the religion of Islam in the city of Dearborn, Michigan?
Because being on the sex offender list is the only requirement to be able to join a mosque in the city of Dearborn, Michigan.
Why won't an atheist convert to the religion of Islam? Because being on the sex offender list is the only requirement to be a Muslim according to the Arabic religion of Islam.
Why can't Jesus eat M&Ms?
They'll fall right through his hands.
What do you call a Muslim who drinks, smokes, and fools around with other women?
Turkish.
What's the difference between a Christian and a child who believes Santa exists?
Nothing. They both believe in fairytales!
When the priest said, "Be gone from this boy, demon!" the demon replied, "And you get out of the boy!"
I dated an Indian girl for about six months. She was always Sikhing attention.
In England, for every church, there are two pubs.
In Poland, for every pub, there are two churches.
What's the difference between a Christian and a child who believes Santa exists?
Nothing. They both believe in fairytales!
Orthodox Christians are a little slow; they take 13 days to get the joke. So go easy on them, alright?
Q: What do priests do to stay in shape?
A: They exorcise.
What's the difference between Christian theocrats and Islamic fundamentalists?
Presentation.