Relationship jokes
A girl and boy are in bed after sex. The boy goes, “I can’t believe they got together after all that shit.” The girl says, “Who?” The boy goes, “My ass cheeks.”
I invited my friend with a vasectomy to a party.
Unfortunately, he couldn't come.
How much cum does a gay guy have?
An ass loaded.
Parallel lines have so much in common, it’s a shame they’ll never meet.
My mother really hates my dad for some reason. Maybe it was because he cheated on her, or maybe because it was her mom. Either way, it really ruined her birthday.
What is a boyfriend?
Jeremy likes to kiss men. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
I have a problem. My dad and my girlfriend have the same birthday. So, one took my virginity, and the other is my girlfriend.
What did the Joker say to Harley Quinn?
Nothing.
When is Father's Day?
Nine months before Mother's Day.
Love you.
Also, not love everyone.
I love everyone.
I have a brother and he told me this quote, "No wonder they had a second child, they messed up on the first one." He’s the second child... I’m the first...
🌍: You're so hot!
🌎: How are you single?
☀️: I burn anyone who gets too close!
I call my dad a motherfucker because he fucked my mom.
There is a party in my mouth, and your dick is invited.
Once upon a time, fraternal twins, brother and sister, with almost 100% equal DNA were separated at birth. At the age of 42, they were married, had 2 sons and 2 daughters. They took an ancestryDNA test, and the results were scientifically sexually shocking.
911 what's your emergency?
Me: Officer, my girlfriend is dead!
Operator: What happened!?
Me: She bit the tip.
One time in camp, I kissed my bunkmate Bret in the shower. He cupped my breasts and lathered them in Prell, but I'm totally not gay... :)