Relationship jokes
My wife said to me, "You really have no sense of direction, do you?"
I said, "Where the fuck did that come from?!"
What's the difference between family and cats...
Cats won't abuse you at Christmas.
What did the kid say to the orphan?
"Well, at least I have parents!"
My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair and guess who came crawling back!
Knock, knock.
Who is there?
Your Nan.
WHAT? MY NAN IS DEAD!
Are you an orphanage?
Why?
Because I wanna put my kids in you.
Can two high-femme lesbians go on a date with each other?
Yes, but it will take them forever to get ready.
Why is my sister so annoying? Because put your own thing in.
People, when your lover cheats on you, do this!
1. Start a conversation. 2. Say, "What's that smell?" 3. They will smell around. 4. Say, "OMG, it's a b****," and walk away and ignore them.
My sister told me words don't hurt her, so I chucked a dictionary at her.
The top worst thing for an orphan, and probably the most awkward one, is when they're having sex and the other person is calling them "mommy" or "daddy."
Family feud after finding out about Alabama.
Ur adopted.
My sister is so short she can't walk.
What's the difference between your dad and the mailman? Nothing.
Why can't orphans have sex? Because they have no one to call "daddy."
Am I considered a cannibal because I told my mom that Grandma's ashes were sugar?
I fell in love with my computer because it helps me Excel.
Friends, gather here.
Samantha, Josephine, Stevie, Jess, Alice, and Alex.
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they have no one to call "daddy."