Red jokes
roses are red, unlike the rest, I'm the one who has your IP address.
What do you call it when Red Sox can't pull out?
Boston cream pie.
What's black and grey and red all over?
A dead r******.
What's white, red, blue, and brown all over?
The American flag I used to wipe my ass with.
What is red, white, and blue all over?
A dead cop.
What's young, red, and has hot PTSD?
Prince Andrew's victims.
What's red and got makeup all over?
A Bill Cosby victim.
What’s black, white, and red all over?
An embarrassed biracial guy.
Guys, I'm back...
Here's my joke:
What is blue and red all over?
Blood in the water of a shark attack victim.
The wine taster at an old vineyard died. A homeless guy, looking ragged and dirty, came to apply. He persuaded the manager to give him a try.
The guy was given a glass of wine. He swirled, smelled, sipped, and spit. “It's a red wine, Merlot, three years old, grown on the South Slope and matured in oak barrels,” he said. "Impressive," said the manager.
The man is given another. “Still a red wine, Cabernet, eight years old, from the Northeast slope, stored in steel vats.”
The manager was amazed. He winked at his secretary. The secretary understood and brought out a glass of urine. The drunkard tasted it and said, “It's a blond, 27 years old, three months pregnant, and if I don't get this job, I'll tell who the father is!”
What is red and tan and spins for about 50 mph?
A baby in a blender.
What's black and white and red all over? The prisoner I just hit with my car.
What's red and green and goes 100 miles per hour? A frog in a blender.
Famous last words of my uncle, (a bomb disposal expert): "yes, the red wire."
Roses are red, violets are blue, don't let your kids next to Prince Andrew.
Roses are red, violets are blue, Tory shirts step in doodoo.
Roses are red, violets are blue, Mike Pence's hair is made of glue.
Roses are red, violets are blue, Alexander Boris de Pfeffel had wine and cheese while your loved ones died in the ICU.
Roses are red, her name is Lily, she bends over, and said "HARDER, DADDY!"
Roses are red.
Your passports are blue.
Now go stand over there,
In that very long queue!