When ur little brother knocks ur two Jenga towers u made with his toy airplane
You: hey stop trying to recreate the twin towers
Why didn't the boy like his Christmas presents? Hint: They were a soccer ball, bicycle, and running shoes.
One day Billy, Bob, and Doo Da went fishing in a small boat. None of them could swim, and they had no life jackets.
Doo Da suddenly started yelling, "I got one boys!" as he started trying to reel the fish in. It was way too large for him to get onto the boat, and he fell into the water. The fish had a nice meal that night. Billy and Bob were in shock but knew they had to tell Mrs. Doo Da.
Upon arriving at her house, they did rock, paper, scissors on who had to tell her the news. Bob lost. He slowly rang the doorbell, and Mrs. Doo Da answered. "U-uhm.. we...Doo D-Da..f-fish..." Bob stuttered, then he screamed and ran off. Billy went to go retrieve his friend. Billy had a nice little talk with him and slapped him across the face to get him to just say what happened. Soon, the two men returned to Mrs. Doo Da's house and rang the doorbell again. She opened the door and looked at the two men and asked, "I've been trying to call Doo Da, and he hasn't answered, is he ok?" Bob took a deep breath and took a step forward with a smile on his face. He sang, "We went fishing, guess who died, Doo Da, Doo Da. He smiled and he said good bye, we mourn Doo Da today."
Why are 10-pin bowlers always in pain?
Because their balls have holes in them.
My son asked for a swimming pool so I got him a ant 🐜🐜🐜 pool.
I play with balls. Not me, the girl that was "playing something."
Did Mr. Rusher play tennis in the dark?
You will get hit by the tennis ball! Ouch, Mr. Rusher said.
Jonny went fishing and he didn’t know how to cast his pole, and he asked his friend Joe how to cast it. Then when he cast, he only cast 3 feet, and he never learned how to do it.
I don't wanna brag, but I finished a puzzle in under a week, and it said 2-4 years on the box.
Where do you bring a canoe that doesn’t feel good?... The boat dock.
Where do surfers go to school?
Boarding school.
Why are friends good at dodgeball? Because no one misses them.
What do you call a toy that has a story?
Toy Story.
Why do scuba divers fall backwards off of the boat?
Because if they fell forward, they'd still be on the boat.
A man went hunting with his son and shot an animal.
The father asks the son to identify the animal he just shot, and the son answers: "Holy Cow!"
Father: "What do you mean, 'Holy Cow?'"
Son: "You shot a hole in the cow, of course!"
Last night I shared a bed with two of my friends because we were in a small hotel. We had strange dreams last night.
My friend on the left dreamed of getting a handjob.
So did my friend on the right.
I had a dream of skiing.
I've started playing the triangle for a reggae band. It's pretty casual.
I just stand at the back and ting.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because there would be no home base.
What do you call a dude that is always high and gets higher than everyone else in the family? The alpha pothead!
What is a dry swimmer?
Not in the water...
