Record Jokes

Minecraft YouTube but I can sing Believer!

YouTube but I making a first video in YouTube.

And I record all the Minecraft Videos and a upload.

Ooohh! To try it and a upload. Ooohh!

I've been recorded to streaming, couple more sleeps to do the dreaming.

I finally get to the stronghold, and if you told me you told me you told me you told me.

Place some more ender eyes, and it's time to big surprise.

It's time to kill the ender dragon, go in to the.

END!

Take that crystal, take that crystal, Believer, Believer!

Knock him down, Knock him down, Believer, Believer!

Axe it's head, Axe it's head.

Axe it's head defeat him.

SUBSCRIBE!!!

Why did the rapper bring a map to the recording studio?

Because he heard they were dropping TRACKS

which city holds the record for the most sucides committed from a gorilla jumping off a tall building? it was called fall-adelphia.

my junk was in the book of world records until i got kicked out of the library

My boss found my permanent record at the orphanage and he’s mad. I got fired...

Osama binladin

Got like 2,997 kills damn thats a new record

Do you want to hear a joke? Yes. okay, record yourself and then listen to it

What type of people have the world record for most stories read in the shortest amount of time?

Emos, some of them are still in the air.

My friend Amir didn’t have the greatest driving record because of all the car crashes he got in. He only crashed his plane once in a building. So he had a much better flying record.

My pp was in the guiness world record book. The librarianthen asked me to take it out.

Why are "Redneck" murder cases the HARDEST to solve? Answer; Because ALL the DNA "Matches", and there are NO "Dental Records".

What do dentists play at their practice? Dental records

This whole string is really messed up. Yall should be ashamed of yourselves. I just heard the audio recording of the crash and it said "HES ON FIRE! BOOM SHAKALA"

Why is the Rubik’s cube record holder always American? Cause Americans are really good at separating colors.

Shit if somebody invades America the Crips and the Bloods are gonna call a truce so that they can get the big toys out and call Geneva achievement. White women would ride into battle riding lions, tigers, and bears while claymore-strapped rhumbas swept the streets. There's a reason Putin keeps threatening to boom boom us with the boom booms and make you see x-rays before you go go. We have freaking cannibals still. Hell, we have more guns than people. Dodging bullets have become a rite of passage. Just look at how we raise our kids on caffeine and M16s playing Call of Duty. Then we send them into the warzone known as the American public education system with no weapons. No means to protect themselves other than with their fists. Here Timmy, fight off the bullets with your bare fist and hope you can zig-zag. Hell, the quiet kids in this country start dropping bodies just cause you teased them. The fuck you think's gonna happen when Timmy can't get his damn chicken nuggets and you took his internet out? Hell the gangs in America would no longer make their money off the drugs illegally. They'd be our medics and taking bets on kill shots. Don't even get me started on the unhinged millennials the moment they can't get their mood stabilizers. War crimes would become an art form and we'd run around like we playing Pokemon. GOTTA CATCH 'EM ALL! Americans would turn war crimes into an extreme sport while the military stands back and records it just so they can show the rest of the world the example of why not to fuck with us. Shit Geneva Convention would turn into a to-do list on every American household fridge. We take that shit so seriously we'd have comedy central sending Kevin Hart to tell us rules for engagement. Racism in America would be single-handedly by ended as Billy Bob and Tyrone high five because they think they just unlocked the super secret duck hunt level with foreign paratroopers. Shit somebody please threaten us with a good time. Invade the united states. Let us show you why the first color in our flag is red.

They finally released the audio recording from the black box in Kobe’s helicopter. Apparently when the helicopter caught fire Kobe was sitting right next to the only fire extinguisher. You could hear everyone screaming for him to put out the fire but he couldn’t figure out how to use it. They begged and pleaded for him to give the extinguisher to anyone else... the last thing you hear is Kobe saying “I’d rather die than pass it”

Derrick and Clive. They have a song about a Dad with Cancer and other extremely offensive subjects in a routine called "The non stop dancer". It is very funny but it is made even funnier by Dudley moors, drunken and stoned laughter through the song. One of the best routines ever. Look it up on YouTube. They recorded them in the studio but they are adlibbing and extremely drunk.

A man entered in the bank branch and asked the teller to withdraw his account balance. The teller debited his account and gave the man all his money then the man counted the money and asked the teller to deposit it back in his account. The teller asked the man why did you withdraw the money and deposit back then the man replied i wanted to make sure all my money is safe and tallies with my records. Lol

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All records are as of March 11th 2021