Why did ItsFunneh go on the road? She so Draco looking at a car then the car runs over him, sad Draco.
The reason Stephen Hawking died was because he switched WiFi routers from Sky to Virgin, so his computer lagged out.
why did the cow cross the road? cause he wanted to go to a moooooooooooooooooooooooovie
Mom: "I gave you life and you should be able to wash dishes."
Me: "Why did you?"
Mom: "I was very drunk..."
Explains a lot...
"Tibia" honestly, I think the reason I’m "bonely" is because you guys don’t find my jokes "humerus."
Maybe if I played the trombone it would get people’s attention, but "tibia" honest I can’t be bothered, so just look at my "BONE-zai" tree, although my brother doesn’t really like that one, so how about a "S-pine" tree?
Me: tries to scan self at Walmart. I can't scan myself, wanna know why?
Alfred: Why?
Me: because I'm worthless... =)
Just to an orphan.
Orphan: You're stupid.
You: You're so ugly, it's the reason your parents are dead.
Depressed people are lame because they are just lame, no reason.
Yo mama so ugly she the reason why Slender Man has no eyes.
Why did the brother cross the road? Because the sister farted.
A cop pulls over an old man.
The cop walks up to the old man and says, "Do you know why I pulled you over?"
The old man said, "No."
I can't sleep, that's because you're dead.
Three people die on the same day: a German, an American, and an Italian. They all go to Hell for various reasons.
American: "I won't ever see my dog again!"
Italian: "I won't ever make pizzas again!"
German: "Hey, granddad, how have you been?"
Why should you never tell your French doctor that you bite your tongue?
Because your French doctor will give you a tetanus shot.
Why did the octopus cross the road?
'Cause he was on the same side as a sushi restaurant.
You're so fat you're the reason they made tread "meals".
You're so ugly we can't have neighbors.
Richard: Mom, someone called me gay.
Richard's mom: Why didn't you slap him across his face?
Richard: No, I couldn't.
Richard's mom: Why?
Richard: Because he was cute.
"hvhuhdsjcjdsijdskdsivhdsvhsjdvnsjdvdshvgdshgsdhfgh" That's what my friend said when he gave an EpiPen. I don't know why, though.
Why did Stephen Hawking go on to Britain's Got Talent?
To sing.
Why did the depressed person cross the road?
To get run over.
