The reason Steven hawking died is he lost his internet connection
Why couldn't the toilet paper roll down the road
For some reason, quarks sound really strange to me.
"Boom, quick; you have five seconds to give me three reasons to live." "1......2......3 .....4....5..." Did you notice you said nothing at all?
Boi, you're the reason the Great Wall of China is a thing. You're so ugly the Chinese needed to block you out!
My mother really hates my dad for some reason. Maybe it was because he cheated on her, or maybe because it was her mom. Either way, it really ruined her birthday.
Why did Tyrone drop his ice cream cone?
A: He got shot.
I gave an orphan an iPhone X for a reason.
It doesn’t have a home button.
Why was the bus sleeping? Because it was too tired.
Why is Santa make-believe?
Because he is fake!
Why can't Michael Jackson go within 500 meters of a school?
Because he's dead.
Why would a dead guy lie?
Because he can't stand up.
I just finished my fourth round of baby back ribs. For some reason, everyone else at the abortion center is staring at me.
My bro said food was cool. So I threw a piece of cool chicken at him. For some reason, he hit me, OOF.
haha why couldn't the bike stand up because it was too tired.
A few male neighbors came over to the house to take a shower because, for some reason, their house didn't have water.
A few minutes later, I walk into the shower. I see the male neighbors and Mom taking a shower together. Then I said, "What are you doing?" They all say, "We're taking a shower together so we could save water."
Q: Why can't Helen Keller drive?
A: Because she's a woman.
Why did the mushroom get a new house?
Because there wasn’t mushroom!
A 10-year-old: "I don't want to smile without having a reason to. People shouldn't think I'm happy 24/7."
A 10-year-old, a week later: "Damn... my life is shitty..."
<2 years later> 12-year-old: "What is de-pre-ssion?" *googles it*
Now 14-year-old: "Oh..."
Suicidal ideation is like wanting to slaughter someone but knowing/feeling that you can't. It's also, in a way, kind of like seeing a really hot chick that you wish you could F, but you again for whatever reason you either feel you can't or you just can't.
