Lemme just say one thing:
Depression is not funny. 2 of my best friends have it and its actually quite hard to watch them suffer with it. They cry all the time, they get upset all the time, they either have wanted to or still do want to kill themselves. Its really not funny to joke about depression.
why does my dad hate me ? really please tell me im tired of the constant abuse and pain.
Why did your friend eat the burger?
Because he wanted to murder all burgers and was starting with this one!
Not really. He was just hungry.
I met a really greedy oyster. It was quite shellfish.
A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced 10 husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin." "What?" said the puzzled groom. "How can that be if you've been married 10 times?" "Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative. He kept telling me how great it was going to be. Husband #2 was in software services. He was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me. Husband #3 was from field services. He said everything checked out diagnostically, but he just couldn't get the system up. Husband #4 was in telemarketing. Even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver. Husband #5 was an engineer. He understood the basic process, but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method. Husband #6 was from finance and administration. He thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not. Husband #7 was in marketing. Although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it. Husband #8 was a psychologist. All he ever did was talk about it. Husband #9 was a gynecologist. All he did was look at it. Husband #10 was a stamp collector. All he ever did was... God! I miss him! But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!" "Good," said the new husband, "but, why?" "You're a lawyer. This time I know I'm going to get screwed!"
omg I had a really good hand joke but i just couldn't put my finger on it.
"I really hate cats" my friend replied with" you gotta be kitten me."
yall really need to stop hating on pedos!! At least they drive slow in school zones! god.
What did the terrorist say to the 72 virgins?
Just so you know, 5 inches is REALLY big!
I was hiking once with my girlfriend. Suddenly a huge brown bear was charging at us, really mad. We must have come close to her cubs. Luckily I had my 9mm pistol with me. One shot to my girlfriend's kneecap was all it took. I could walk away at a comfortable pace.
You know this jokes really crack up my bones~
Did you ever hear the story about the broken pencil?
That's okay. There is really no point to it.
Its really great that you can make fun of orphans, 'cause what are they going to do? Tell their parents?
I walk on on my mum and she's in the middle of pulling off my dad's boxers. I said mum, you really spoil those dogs!
If a priest listen to sad music in his church he really enjoys to be deep in minor
My uncle got really badly burned the other day. They don't fuck around at the crematorium.
Dear Gwen and Prince. Gwen and Prince sorry for being mean and cussing and other messed up nonsense. To be honest I really just wanted to be ur friends all both of u! Btw prince, Gwen is not dating Aiden...I don't even know who aiden is! Sorry a milion times Zreina.
My parents said to me, "When ever you say sorry to someone and they say, 'It's okay' It's really not. So I said OKAY.
(only Ninjago fans understand XD) if you look outside, and its really windy, its really cloudy, and the sky looks greenish... you better run, cause it has to be Morro! XD
