Really

Really jokes

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God

  • God: I feel like I'm forgetting something... oh no, Earth! *sees it on fire* Oh, it's fine.

    People of Earth: *running and screaming*

    Santen: *to God* Really?

    Orphan

  • An orphan boy at my school did really bad in a test and started crying.

    I said, “Don’t worry, your parents won’t say anything.”

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    Nickname

  • Is there a really annoying girl at your school and she's so fake? Well, say this:

    Me: Hey, I have a nickname for you.

    Her: Really? What?

    Me: Sweet-in-low.

    Her: Why?

    Me: Because you're artificial.

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    Funeral

  • My friend is upset with me because I sniffed his grandmother's nickers. Not sure if it was because she was still wearing them or if it was because the whole family was watching. Either way, the rest of her funeral was really awkward.

    Dad

  • Me: *watching TV*

    Mom: Omg, no way, your dad is coming!

    Me: Really?

    Mom: Obviously not, he never loved or wanted you.

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    Homophobia

  • And there's the referee taking down Ronaldo's number.

    Not really the time or the place, but it's good to see that we've kept homophobia out of football.

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  • Press

  • I don't really trust the press. Sometimes they wear badges that say "press," but if you press those badges, they just fall over, all surprised.

    Boomer

  • One day, I was walking down the street, and then I saw something really funny, and then I ran, and I saw a boomer, but I don't really know what I'm talking about, lol.

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    Guy

  • Did you hear about the guy who died by lethal injection and writhed on the stretcher for 20 minutes?

    I guess it really IS all in the execution.

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  • Refrigerator

  • So, a mom and a dad take their son to a therapist.

    “What seems to be the problem?” the therapist asked.

    “Our son thinks he’s a refrigerator!” they said.

    So the therapist replies, “Oh dear, that must be a problem.”

    “Yeah, he sleeps with his mouth open, and the light is really bright.”