Really jokes

Me: "Oh man, things are really happening for me! I have so much to do!"

Depression: "Lie in bed."

Republicans really want weed not to be legal, fucking cunts!

I was raised as an only child.

Which really annoyed my twin sister.

Hey guys. I just wanted to say, while I think some rape jokes can be funny, not one of these are. In fact, I find them pretty horrifying.

I was raped when I was fourteen (about six years ago), and I have made one rape joke in my entire life when, last year, I said "I don't fuck with rapists, I just get fucked by them." I thought it was funny. No one else did, and they were probably right in that.

My point is this: rape jokes CAN be funny when they are used by victims as a way of coping with trauma. They CANNOT be funny when they are made about raping someone else. Even if there is a difference between joking about raping someone and raping someone, it is absolutely disgusting to think such a horrific crime is funny, and I am sure at least some of the posters on this page have already crossed the line into committing rape.

Great material for social scientific research, though, gentlemen. Really well done.

Q: What do you call a duck that's sad?

A: Idk, but it's acting really duckpressed.

I don't really understand 9/11 jokes, but they eventually hit me like a plane.

People in wheelchairs should really stand up for themselves!

It’s really hard to maintain a good body lately, unless you put it in a freezer.

Person 1: Stop making suicidal jokes!

Person 2: Okay, okay, I’ll cut it out.

Person 1: Really?

Person 2: They're not even that deep.

So, I heard the CEO gave her daughter a really good spot in the company.

Everyone is mad, but I think it just goes to show that it pays to sleep with your boss.

If someone told me to bring up 9/11, they were trying to make a funny joke, but it didn't work.

That one really *crashed and burned*.

Hey any riding with Biden fans out there?

I ran out of gas and could really use a ride so if one of ya'll can call me and pick me up that'd be great and I can't get gas because I only have 20 bucks which is like 1-5 and a half, help me please.

I really wanna hit you right now, but that would be animal abuse.

Abortion is a really touchy subject for me. On one hand, there's dead babies! But on the other hand, women get a choice.

School teacher: "Hey kid, why don't you just go home to your family?"

Orphan: "My family never came back for me."

School teacher: "Your daddy must've really needed that milk."

Do you like CDs?

There's this really cool one called "C Deez Nuts."

Yo mama is so fat that a whole forest grew on her, but it was sad because she really smells, so the forest died.

When a deaf person is on trial, is it really considered a hearing?

So, I remember growing my own peanuts really well. There's one that's larger than the others. I can't keep my eye off of it.

I'm scared that it moves at night.

I'm being serious. I literally can't keep my eye off it.

I was watching a "don't laugh" video, and an erection joke almost made me laugh.

It really gave me a hard time indeed.