Reaction jokes
My friend had an allergic reaction after he ate a peanut.
We got his EpiPen to help him when Penaldo appeared because he heard the word "PEN". He tried stealing the pen, but I said, "No pens for you," and "Brentford". He cried and ran away. Shame on you, Penaldo the fraud!
What's the cool thing about bringing a pack of gum or a shotgun to school?
When you pull one out everybody wants to be your friend. :)
Like if you know someone is emo and comment "emo🇷🇺."
That was so funny, I forgot to laugh.
*walks into a comedy night club* Owner: "You're doing standup tonight, right?" Noob Joker (you): "Yes, I am!" Owner: "Get onto the stage." Me: *walks up stage* Owner: "This is the standup comedian noobpro." Me: "Hey guys, how about some Donald Trump?" Crowd: *RUNS*
When I saw your face, it instantly made me throw up.
When the people that see you cry, that doesn't mean they miss you. That mean they scared of your onion breath! 🐑💨
Me: Do you like smash?
Friend: Smash Rolls?
Me: No, Smash DEEZ NUTS!
Friend: AHHHHH (*moans)
Whenever I have diarrhea, my roommate gets constipated.
When I told him this, he said, "Are you kidding me?"
I said, "I shit you not."
My gf told me she was pregnant, so I punched her in the stomach.
She asked me why the hell I did that. I told her I wanted to let her know I’m pro abortion.
Removing the polish with chemicals: 😀
Removing the Polish with chemicals: 😳
This homeless lady called me ugly, so I told her, "Okay, then I'm going home."
I don't shut up, I grow up, and when I see you, I throw up.
Maybe your butt good? Maybe bad... I'M GOING TO LAUGH!
I was going on a date when I decided to put on Penaldo’s PR7 cologne to smell good. As I put on the cologne, my skin started to turn invisible!
I then realized the cologne had made me turn into a ghost 👻. Shame on you, Penaldo, for ruining my date 😡!
Knock knock.
"Who's there?"
Boo.
"Boo who?"
It's just a joke, no need to cry!
What's the difference between onions and children? Nothing, when you cut one everyone around you cries.
Most people are scared of clowns. That's why everyone runs away from you.
Your face makes onions cry.
Do you know what you first feel when you shoot someone?
The recoil.