My gf told me she was pregnant, so I punched her in the stomach.
She asked me why the hell I did that. I told her I wanted to let her know I’m pro abortion.
Removing the polish with chemicals: 😀
Removing the Polish with chemicals: 😳
This homeless lady called me ugly, so I told her, "Okay, then I'm going home."
I don't shut up, I grow up, and when I see you, I throw up.
Maybe your butt good? Maybe bad... I'M GOING TO LAUGH!
I was going on a date when I decided to put on Penaldo’s PR7 cologne to smell good. As I put on the cologne, my skin started to turn invisible!
I then realized the cologne had made me turn into a ghost 👻. Shame on you, Penaldo, for ruining my date 😡!
Knock knock.
"Who's there?"
Boo.
"Boo who?"
It's just a joke, no need to cry!
What's the difference between onions and children? Nothing, when you cut one everyone around you cries.
Most people are scared of clowns. That's why everyone runs away from you.
Do you know what you first feel when you shoot someone?
The recoil.
Your mom is so fat that when she fell on the sidewalk, nobody laughed, but the sidewalk cracked up.
You are so ugly Santa goes "ho ho ho holy sh*t."
Go up to someone and say, "I'm sorry for your loss," and see what they do.
"Balls" got me like: 😂
Tazzaro got me like: 😂
You never think of how people will react to an event. My friend gets discounts at any store he goes to.
Yo mama is so ugly that not even goldfish smile back at her.
When you suffer from depression and somebody tells you to just cheer up-- Me: My goodness, what an idea! Why didn't I think of this before?
I can't with these, LMAOO!
You tell an orphan joke to an orphan. You start laughing, they start crying. They say they are going to tell their mom. Then you start laughing harder.
