I am disabled and I find these jokes appropriately hilarious.
People might not laugh to my jokes, or have a reaction at all, But I'd explode with euphoria. Periodically, people might laugh every now and then.
What did chemical 1 say to chemical 2? I think your over reacting
I was watching my boyfriend's dog while he took a shower. I started playing fetch with him when the ball went over the balcony. He went to get it and fell 10 stories. When I looked down, he appeared to be dead.
My boyfriend loved his dog and I didn't know what to do, so feeling awful, I sat on the couch and waited for him to come back. About three minutes later he got out of the shower. He ordered some food and went to the table to eat when I said, "You know, your dog's been a little depressed lately..."
What's the difference between onions and babies?
I cry when I cut onions.
When I woman removes polish with chemicals, no one bats and eye, but when hitler removes the Polish with chemicals, suddenly people loose their shit?
So I caught my girlfriend masturbating with a carrot. My first reaction was "Shit, I was gonna eat that later, but now it’s gonna taste like carrots!"
Want to hear something that’ll make you smile? Your face muscles.
I told my friend ten puns to see what one made him laugh. No pun in ten did.
I would have told you about a chemistry joke, but i wouldnt get a reaction
I'd make a joke about Noble Gases, but I probably wouldn't get much of a reaction.
What if some kid was like, "I'm going to shoot up the school!", and then someone just pulls up with a reverse card?
The Pope and Donald Trump are on stage in front of a huge crowd.
The Pope leaned towards Trump and said, “Do you know that with one little wave of my hand I can make every person in this crowd go wild with joy? This joy will not be a momentary display, like that of your followers, but go deep into their hearts and for the rest of their lives. Whenever they speak of this day, they will rejoice!”
Trump replies, “I seriously doubt that. With one little wave of your hand? Show me!”
So the Pope slapped him.
my friend died from an allergic reaction.he gave me an EpiPen while he was dying so now i have something to remember him from.
My sister thinks she's so smart. She said, "Onions are the only food that makes you cry." So I threw a coconut at her.
One time I saw a manatee all spray painted to look like a tiger. Needless to say, the first thing I yelled was, "OH! THE HUMANATEE!"
Three drunk men get in a taxi. The driver knew they were drunk, so he started the car and turned it off. The first man gave him the money. The second man thanked him, but the third man slapped the driver. The driver, surprised that he noticed, asked why, and the third man replied with, "Why did you drive so fast?"
person 1- I heard oxygen and magnesium went on a date. person 2- OMg
i would tell you a chemistry pun but i wont get a reaction
Jack and Molly are sitting in school one day. Molly is asleep when the teacher asks her a question, “Molly, who created Heaven and Earth?”
Jack sees Molly is sleeping and quickly pokes her with a sharp pencil.
“Jesus Christ almighty!” shouts Molly.
“Correct,” says the teacher.
The next day the teacher asks, “Molly, who created Heaven and Earth?”
Molly is again asleep and is poked by Jack’s pencil.
“Jesus Christ almighty!” she shouts.
“Correct again,” says the teacher.
The next day, for a 3rd time, Molly is asleep.
This time the teacher asks her, “What did Eve say to Adam when she had so many children?”
Jack pokes Molly with the pencil again, and this time Molly screams “If you stick that thing in me one more time I’m going to crack it in half!”
