What do teen mothers and their unborn babies have in common?
They're both thinking "Oh my God, my mom's gonna kill me!"
Bully: Oh, look at your shoes, look at your pants, look at your shirt, ay, ay, ay.
Me: Ding, ding, sing, oh, did you hear that? It's the elevator 'cause you're not on my level.
Bully: u_u ......
Crowd: Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh
Ahem... if somebody you don't like, or somebody random just calls you in general,
answer the phone with this:
"Hello, thank you for choosing Mama's Pizzeria/Abortion Clinic, your loss is our sauce, how may I help you?"
or
"Hello, this is David's Orphanage, you make them, we take them, how may I help you?"
Some people's reactions are priceless, and then they wonder about your mental health.
What is the fastest thing in the world?
James Charles when he sees little boys.
I know why nobody likes my comments, because they got no sense of humor. That's why they dislike it. Now I know depression is a joke, a joke that never gets a laugh. =[ WHYYYY NO ONE LAUGH AT MY JOKES?
Brother: I bought my brother a trampoline today, the ungrateful fuck just sat in his wheelchair and cried.
",':/ wait wtf that post below me was gay."
When I was 14, my mum caught me wanking, and she slapped me across the face. A couple weeks later, my dad caught me having a beer, and he made me drink 40 beers. I just thought, "Well, I'm glad he didn't catch me wanking."
I heard that my crush got kicked in the balls and when I thought of it...
If you punch an orphan what are they going to do tell their parents?
People say killing two birds with one stone is a good thing, but when I did it, people just looked horrified.
Kris
Damn this shit!
Megan Thee Stallion: What!
Kris: My mother is a fucker!
The whole world:
OH NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Step on your small sister's foot, she will always open her mouth like a dustbin.
Me, smashes mouse after losing a match; everybody at the pet race: :O
I was watching my daughter at a park. She was playing with a few people. Another parent came up to me and said, "Which one is yours?" Just for fun, I said, "I am still choosing." She looked horrified.
Last night I was watching a Scotland Christmas movie...
And the part when Mary tells Joseph that she is pregnant, Joseph was surprised, and he exclaimed, "Jesus Christ!!!" I immediately stopped watching and changed the channel.
When the school shooter misses you, but you gotta play it off.
😐😑
This is a joke to tell to someone with you or something. SOMEONE will laugh. Say: "This word isn't gonna be funny until I tell you, your probably not going to laugh." *your friend* "what's the word?" *you* "finger" *friend* *dies of laughter*. *note* it works better if you wiggle your finger or something before and not everyone laughs, so don't feel bad if they don't. Also, don't be surprised if you get put in jail for murder, because you're going to kill someone with this.
When the school shooter breaks into the classroom, and you look at your friend because it's the kid you predicted.
Hey amazing people! The Prankster is back! This prank was on my sister and her friends. (tbh I did not think she had friends.)
I set out some snacks for them! Btw (I can't be trusted).
I gathered some "slapies."
The things I gathered were tomatoes, onions, milk, carrots, ice cream, and some dried-out green beans! All that stuff!
I need the tomatoes to make a sauce because I am going to put that with the ice cream, mix that up with the milk, yea yea it might look like a gross and nasty dish...WRONG!!!! I am going to make it into a little snack...anyway we make that into a snack for her and her friends. The onions are used to make their eyes cry and burn but I will give them a towel after that. The dried-out green beans are just to make them go over the top and overreact because I did not cook them. After that, we make it like it's not so icky!
I feed it to them!
They overreacted!
Please leave a comment.
Bye!
