Question jokes

Why is Lucas so weird? I don't know, you tell me.

POV: You walk up to your short friend and say, "How is the weather down there?"

Luigi was dying and had two sons. Bruno was handsome, but Alberto was ugly.

He said, "Maria, tell me, is Alberto my son?"

"Yes, Luigi," his wife said, and he died happily.

Wife said, "Thank God he didn’t ask about the other one!"

I went on a date last night and told my date I worked with animals every day.

She said, "Oh, how sweet. What do you do?" I said, "I'm a butcher."

Yesterday I asked my friend, "What is a fish without eyes?"

They replied, "I don’t know."

I said, "Fsh."

I saw a kid crying yesterday, and I asked him, "Where are your parents?" Then he started crying harder.

Hi 👋 I was wondering...

Me: Do you take milk before cereal, or cereal before milk?

The adult person I asked: Cereal?

Me: I take the bowl first! What do you do? Do you just pour everything on the table and then eat it?

The person: Yes.

Me: WHAT?!!!??!!

A young couple gets banned from church.

There were three couples, one elderly, one middle-aged, and one newlywed, that wanted to join a church. So the minister tells them that in order to be members they must abstain from sex for two whole weeks.

After two weeks, the minister asks the elderly couple if they had abstained. "Yes, no problem!" So the minister welcomes them to the church.

Then he asks the middle-aged couple the same question, "Well, after one week, the husband had to sleep on the couch, but we made it!" So the minister welcomes them to the church.

Then the minister asks the newlywed couple if they had abstained from sex for two weeks.

"We were unable to abstain. On the third day, my wife dropped a can of corn and when she bent over to pick it up, LUST and PASSION overcame me! I took her right there."

"I'm sorry," the minister says, "but you are both banned from this church!"

"We understand," says the husband, "We were banned from the grocery store, too."

If there was a quiz on midgets, here’s the Midget quiz and the questions that would be on it:

1. When midgets get high on any drug, do they get high or medium?

2. Do midgets come out the closet or the cabinet?

3. Are Midgets related to Snow White’s 7 Dwarfs?

4. Is a midget just a human without the mushroom in Mario?

5. Was this funny?

Chuck: Do you have holes in your underpants?

Teacher: No, of course not.

Chuck: Then how do you get your feet through?

Question: What do you say to give a woman from West Virginia a "Nice Compliment"?

Answer: You say to her: "NICE TOOTH!"

How many people fit in a tree?

I don't know, you tell me.

What do you call the door that is cute and adorable?

Me: What has two legs and bleeds?

Friend: Um, women? Obviously?

Me: Actually, half a dog. So you're still right.

What’s the difference between jelly and jam?

You can’t “jelly” it in her ass.

I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon....I'll let you know.

Question; Why do they call Melania Trump the "Walk-In" Freezer?

Answer; It's because that is where EVERYONE goes to "Hang Their Meat"!

What do you call it when Panera Bread goes to space?

Good question.

I asked the Titanic an icebreaker question.

It couldn't answer.