Push jokes

How to turn on an Indian: push the red button.

I got sent to the principal's office today because I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into a fire and screamed, "HOT WHEELS!"

Your hairline left you because you were too ugly for your push back hairline.

Today at the bank, an old lady asked me to help check her balance. So I pushed her over.

I pushed an orphan in a wheelchair into a fire and yelled, "Hot wheels!"

Helicopters fly because they are so ugly that the ground pushes them away.

I pushed a disabled kid over, and he came crawling back to me.

What do you get when you put a baby in a box filled with glass and nails and push it down the stairs?

... A boner.

So, I was at the gas station drinking a Slurpee when I heard an old lady start talking to me. She says, "Hey, can you check my balance?" so she could buy a chocolate bar.

So, I pushed her over and said, "Not much."

How do you f**k a sheep?

Put your d**k in it and face it off the cliff edge. It'll keep going backwards as you push forwards.

I watched the series of "Unfortunate Events" 4 times, all the shows 4 times. I am crying. I am trying to finish the rest, then my brother comes in and says it is PG (Parental Guidance). After that, my brother called me a baby, then he pushed me off my bed. 😭

I pushed a handicapped orphan out of his wheelchair. Who is he gonna tell, his parents?

There is this boy in my year; he is in a wheelchair, so I kicked a football at him and pushed him, and then I shouted, "Rocket League!"

My mom told me to help her with the laser, but it was opposite day, so I pushed her down.

She said help, so I kicked her.

Alright ALYA and drew ALYA's boyfriend!! Have a good fucking life, I hardly even think drew is real but uk whatever I've passed on but DREW if u fucking wanna beef, I'll fight u bro, ur prob a stick, I'm fucking doing push ups 4 times a week 100 each.

Give a man a plane ticket, and he’ll fly for a day.

Push a man from a plane, and he’ll fly for the rest of his life.

A man says, "I'm flying!" He realizes he was pushed out of a plane.

Your hairline pushed back lookin' like you got slapped up by Will Smith.

Why did Sally fall out the window?

She was pushed.

Mom: Clean your room! Me: No, it’s my room, and I don’t want to clean it. Mom: You are nothing like Mrs. Smith’s daughter. Me: Well, I’m not Mrs. Smith’s daughter now, am I? You are the worst. Why are you trying to compare me with Mrs. Smith’s daughter? I’m not her, OK? I am not her, so stop! Mom: Do you know what? I pushed you out of my hula for 43 minutes! Do not make me hate you, because guess what? I brought you into the world, and I can take you out of it! Me: Bro.