Push jokes
The other day I pushed a Chinese woman off the Golden Gate Bridge. I was Wong on so many levels.
What do you get when you put a baby in a box filled with glass and nails and push it down the stairs?
... A boner.
A man says, "I'm flying!" He realizes he was pushed out of a plane.
Why did Sally fall out the window?
She was pushed.
Have you heard the new pickup line in a gay bar?
Can I push your stool in for ya?
There is this boy in my year; he is in a wheelchair, so I kicked a football at him and pushed him, and then I shouted, "Rocket League!"
Why don't orphans go to the park?
Because their parents can't push them on the swing!
So I went to the bank and a lady asked me to check her balance... so I pushed her over.
One day an old woman came into the bank and asked me to check her balance... So, I pushed her over.
How to Make an Orphan cry
Step 1: Talk about Home.
Step 2: Ask them where their parents are.
Step 3: Say, "Bye Bye," and push them in the Batmobile!
You're so fat that when you went sunbathing at the beach, Greenpeace came along and pushed you back in the ocean.
My job is so amazing.
Today a man asked me to check his balance, so I pushed him over. His balance isn't good.
My friend said she was tired of seeing me every day.
So I pushed her off the side of a cliff.
Today at the bank, an old lady asked me to help check her balance. So I pushed her over.
That one person who can never bring a smile to your face...
Until you push them down 3 flights of stairs.
My wife slept with another man and got pregnant. She told me 9 weeks later. I said it's ok and told her let's talk downstairs, so I pushed her down the stairs.
How do you f**k a sheep?
Put your d**k in it and face it off the cliff edge. It'll keep going backwards as you push forwards.
When a person asked to see her balance at a bank, they pushed him over.
Why don't orphans go to the park?
Because their parents aren't there to push them on the swing!
What do you do to a pregnant lady on a step?
Push 'em.