My friend wanted to say egg puns, so I told him Omelette you do your egg jokes.
My boss yelled at me the other day, “You’ve got to be the worst train driver in history. How many trains did you derail last year?”
I said, “Can’t say for sure, it’s so hard to keep track!”
If you give a gator a GPS, does that make it a navigator?
Hahaha. These eggs surely crack me up!
What does a house wear? a-dress
what did the ocean say to the other ocean. nothing he just WAVED. did you SEA what I did there. GUY: yes are you SHORE
Q: Have you ever felt a window? A: Did you feel the pane?
what's a turtles favorite thrill ride shell shock
I have a friend called jakob and asked him where my crackers are
HAving sex while camping is f******* in tents (intense)...
Did you here about the person who invented the door knocker?
He won a no-bell prize.
A man walks into a zoo, the only animal was a dog.
It was a shitzu
What do you call a sleeping dinosaur: a dinosnore!
Let me tell you a pun. Nevermind, its tearable
What do you call a fish with two knees?
Where did the cow go on his first date, to the moovies
Yesterday in my dream I ate a ten pound marshmallow, when I woke up my pillow was gone
Why couldn’t the toilet paper cross the road Because it was stuck in a crack
A tiny psychic escaped from jail and the news said there a small medium at large.
I wanted to tell an animal joke but its irrelephant
