Hair

My mom wanted me to brush my hair.

And I just told her that even pet animals don't like their hair brushed...

Butter

Did you hear the gossip about butter? Never mind, I butter not spread it...

Internet

Why do bugs hate the internet?

Because they always get caught.

Get it? Inter-net?

Fly

What did the human say to the fly when it was buzzing around the human's head?

"Would you stop bugging me!"

Bee

What did one bee say to the other bee?

"I love you, honey!"

Cow

What do you call a wild cow in a shop with old things?

A bull in a china shop.

Poem

By the way, this isn't a joke or a poem. I just want to say, please check out Gwen's puns. They're good!

Time

My teacher: Time can't count.

Me: Every second counts.

My teacher: Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooohhhhhh!

Beef

Why is it wrong to put a beef or turkey patty in a burger?

'Cause it's a ham-burger, isn't it?

Category

What would be a pet's favorite thing to click on on this website?

Cat-egories.

Get it?

Planet

Why do planets circle the sun?

'Cause they like the game of ring-around-the-rosy.

Shirt

What did the undershirt say to the T-shirt when they were fighting?

"If you don't shut up right now, you're gonna lose your shirt!!!"

Get it?

Dog

What did the dog say when he got its tail caught in the door?

"It won't be long now..."

Pane

What did the window say to the door?

"What are you squeaking about? I'm the one with the panes!"

Get it?

Sister

Q: I often think I'm ugly, but then I think of my sister and get over it.