What do you say to your pet when your super tired, slow, and worn out?
I'm totally dogging it today...
If chickens wake up when the Rooster crows, then when do ducks wake?
At the quack of dawn.
What starts with ''P" and ends with "E" and has a million letters?
Post officE
I would tell jokes about Kobe but they would just crash and burn
What do planets read?
Comet books.
Doctor: You need new glasses.
Patient: How'd you know? I haven't even told you what is wrong with me yet.
Doctor: I could tell as soon as you walked in through the window.
What do planets use to download music?
Nep-tunes.
Why does it get hot after a baseball game?
Cuz all the fans have left.
I was walking to the park and a mystery killed came and shot me 😥😥😥
Doctor: Hands husband his baby Doctor: Im sorry but your wife didn't make it Husband: The give me the one she made
why are the jokes fat because you made it
What hairstyle do horses like best while reading a story?
Pony-tails
Why did the boy study for his math test in a tree?
Cuz he wanted higher grades.
What do you call a funny drink?
Punch!
Q: Sex is great, only your mate can sometimes be a little nuts!
( I am still a single young virgin )
What did the cucumber say to the bell pepper that wasn't wearing enough clothes?
You need more dressing.
What do you get when you mix a lemon and a cat?
A sour-puss.
I tried to dress hot so my boyfriend would cast some attention upon me but it just made him sweat.
What planets do Astronauts like to pee on?
Uranus!
(Say this out loud and it will make more sense)
Once I tried to tell my friend a joke about dead people... but it went six feet underground...
