You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't pick your friends' noses.
Does it cycle now? đ˛
What did the spaghetti say to the sauce? Pasta la vista!
Cool, new word of the day: Marijuana.
âDoes Marry wanna smoke a joint?â
The police told everyone to put their hands up, and the police were having fun waving their hands around.
I see, you guys jokers are SANS-ational!
Fishermen are the best at networking.
What did the momma grape say to the pappa grape?
"Raisin' our kids is usually pretty fun, but sometimes they get sunburn and I have to take them to the doctor for dry skin."
I'm so smart, wanna know why? Because you're gay.
Broke my toenail yesterday. I'm now presenting you puns/jokes:
1. "Yeah, I broke my toenail, wanna see phoTOES?" 2. "I'm tired of bandaging my toe! Oh. My. GAUZE."
At first, I didn't like Big Ben, but then I went there and the experience was un-BELL-ievable!
I can change a "t" into a "p," just drink it and wait a few hours.
There's at least 856 pages of these newest puns. I couldn't finish, because it took me an hour just to get that far. Just saying, that's a lot of jokes!
Whatâs up with the foot feet?
What is the plural of "goose"? "Geese."
What is the plural of moose? Well, it ant meese.
Well, itâs my first joke. Please forgive me if itâs bad.
What was the most famous skeleton detective in the world? Sherlock Bones!
So there was this girl and her horse would not stop following her, so she said, "Stop horsing around!"
Get it? "Horse-ing."
What do Time Clocks like to play?
Tick Tack Toe.
What did the cell phone say to his wife?
"I will give you a ring."
Here's a list of puns, not all of them are mine.
1. Smaller babies may be delivered by stork, but the heavier ones need a crane.
2. Yesterday, I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says Iâm okay, but I feel like Iâve dyed a little inside.
3. My sister bet that I couldnât build a car out of spaghetti. You shouldâve seen her face when I drove pasta.
4. Getting the ability to fly would be so uplifting.
5. Two windmills are standing in a wind farm. One asks, âWhatâs your favorite kind of music?â The other says, âIâm a big metal fan.â
6. Why was the cookie sad? Because his mom was a wafer long!
7. Why didnât the cat go to the vet? He was feline fine!
8. How do you make a good egg-roll? You push it down a hill!
9. That baseball player was such a bad sport. He stole third base and then just went home!
10. My parents said I canât drink coffee anymore. Or else theyâll ground me!
What did one mountain climber say to the other mountain climber?
Man, you are really on edge.
What did momma seal name her twin girls?
Luceal and Sealia.
