Puns

Uranus, ur-anus, your anus. Anus is what's in between your two buttocks.

Why did the pen stop writing?

'Cause the pen wasn't very dependable.

What does a lawyer defending a killer and a password have in common? They're case sensitive.

I wanna tell you a scary math joke, but I'm too squared to tell you.

If you try to fail and you succeed, which one did you do?

Teacher to Student: You are supposed to be here at 9 am!

Student: Oh, did I miss anything?

Q: Why didn't the Oak tree win the election?

A: He didn't get the votes he was oaking for, because he was not the popular vote.

Quin loves Robin. All he says is "Robin." This isn't a joke; Quin's gay.

Roses are red, But grass is greener, When I think of you, I play with my wiener.

You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't pick your friends' noses.

Does it cycle now? 🚲

What did the spaghetti say to the sauce? Pasta la vista!

Cool, new word of the day: Marijuana.

“Does Marry wanna smoke a joint?”

The police told everyone to put their hands up, and the police were having fun waving their hands around.

I see, you guys jokers are SANS-ational!

Fishermen are the best at networking.

What did the momma grape say to the pappa grape?

"Raisin' our kids is usually pretty fun, but sometimes they get sunburn and I have to take them to the doctor for dry skin."

I'm so smart, wanna know why? Because you're gay.

Broke my toenail yesterday. I'm now presenting you puns/jokes:

1. "Yeah, I broke my toenail, wanna see phoTOES?" 2. "I'm tired of bandaging my toe! Oh. My. GAUZE."

At first, I didn't like Big Ben, but then I went there and the experience was un-BELL-ievable!

I can change a "t" into a "p," just drink it and wait a few hours.